


What flies from the chrysalis?

by Cozzykoto



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Assassination Attempt(s), Attempted Murder, Attempted Sexual Assault, Betrayal, Blood and Gore, Blood and Violence, Broken Promises, Cannibalism, Canon-Typical Violence, Cooking Lessons, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Graphic Description, Graphic Description of Corpses, Killing, Kissing, M/M, Men Crying, Mental Anguish, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Institutions, Mind Manipulation, Multi, Murder, Possessive Behavior, Sex, Slow Burn, Smut, Threesome - F/M/M, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:08:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 35,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26457706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cozzykoto/pseuds/Cozzykoto
Summary: A woman stands staring at a little shack on the side of the road, it’s all old dry wood, dark and warped from age and what’s left of the old white paint is yellowed, mostly chipped making it look, what most people would call decayed. A small rectangular sign perched above the door in barley legible writing says "RON'S BAIT AND TACKLE".Or Will Graham collects another stray.
Relationships: Alana Bloom/Margot Verger, Hannibal Lecter & Original Female Character(s), Hannibal Lecter/Original Female Character(s), Will Graham & Hannibal Lecter, Will Graham & Original Female Character(s), Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter, Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter/Original Female Character(s), Will Graham/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 31
Kudos: 80





	1. Horderves

Prologue: Horderves

A woman stands staring at a little shack on the side of the road. It’s all old dry wood, dark and warped from age and what’s left of the old white paint is yellowed, mostly chipped making it look decayed. A small rectangular sign perched above the door in barley legible writing says " _ **RON'S BAIT AND TACKLE**_ ".

The walls of the building were covered in various other signs in various degrees of age, some just squares of rusted metal hanging on by a thread. Other places were splayed with decorative fish netting with small buoys knotted in it, various wooden crates and metal buckets thrown up against the outside, life preservers mounted near the door and even the bait hook "chime" she had made when she was little on the overhang of the old building. Her grandfather had called it rustic, something he claimed his customers would love, but from the financial statements that she was given it didn't seem so.

This was the only thing her grandfather had to give after his passing. He wasn’t a poor man, but he wasn’t living in luxury, this place was mostly to blame. Though at one point the business thrived, many of the old regular customers either died of old age or moved away. She was advised by her father, who had always despised the shop, as it led to his parents’ divorce, that she should let it die. But she really didn’t want it to let it go. Maybe it was the summers spent here helping man the store, the fun memories of fishing with her grandpa, or making pretty lures on hooks with feathers and fish bones that brought her to Wolf Trap, Virginia to take over the shop. Either way, she was here at least for a little bit to see if she could save the place.

With a deep breath she took a step towards the porch its creaking loud in her ears as she took in the familiar smell of old wood and the scent of pine on the breeze, a reminder of a simpler time. A small smile, more like a quirk of her lip graced her face as her hand went to touch the chime feeling the feathers that were old and matted, colors muted by the sun’s harsh rays. The sound of a car pulling up the small drive made her glance behind her and she saw a silver Volvo pulling up. Her face scrunched up in a mix of confusion and nervousness as the car parked and a man exited. He looked to be a bit taller than her, a mop of dark brown curls swirling from his scalp in an attractive “bed head” sort of way. He was dressed in a blue button up, with a grey green jacket slung over his slightly broad shoulders, a worn out pair of blue jeans accompanying a pair of brown boots, it was very casual. His jaw was strong and pronounced covered in light stubble, but his eyes framed in thick black glasses are what really stuck her. Magnificent pools of blue stark against his dark hair and glasses, they were beautiful but sharp, unyielding and calculating but didn’t meet her own.

Reflexively the girl swallowed the lump in her throat at his approach, he seemed a bit nervous as well which soothed her slightly.“Hello there, uh the shops closed today. I’m not sure if you knew my grandfather but he just passed last week.” The girl stated nervously wringing her hands watching as the man stopped when she said the store was closed. He seemed to debate what he was going to say stumbling a bit over his words

“I, uh...How’s his dog?” He asked looking away and rubbing his neck. It was such a random question that all the tension in the girls shoulders released as a laugh bubbled out. The man watched her laugh, and a wide smile break out on her face as she crossed her arms lightly over her chest and leaned against one of the old pillars on the porch.

“Blue’s good, a bit sad the poor pup. His hearts broken over loosing pop, but he’s lodging with me. He’s a great dog no matter the stigma.” She said kicking at the pillar a bit to focus on something else other than her hands, a nervous habit she couldn’t quite break.

The man seemed to nod and agree with the statement “Generally it's not the dogs who are the problem, but the people who handle them.” He says quietly still not meeting her eyes but opening up a bit slightly. “Mm, I was scared that something would happen to him. Pit-bulls get stuck not being wanted. In kennels for the rest of their lives. I don’t want that for any dog let alone my boy blue.” The girl sighed her attention drawn back to the lure chime, picking at the feathers again.

“What will happen to-” The man started cutting off his question gesturing to the building to which the girl shrugged slightly. “It was left to me to take care of but I’m not well versed in owning a business” She hums as she turns back to face the door squaring her shoulders “I haven’t even stepped foot in.” There was an awkward pause as she shifted her weight to her other foot. “He died in here.” There was another long minute of silence before she sighed, rubbing her arm and digging her nails into it, her jacket softening the blow but the slight pain was another coping mechanism that kept her calm.

“How did he die?” The voice was much closer then she remembered him being and she turned to look over her shoulder, he was coming up the porch to stand next to her.

“Heart attack.” was her answer as she nervously tapped her foot on the wood of the porch.

“I’m not sure what to do really. I know he left it to me to keep it going but I-” The girl cut herself off taking a deep breath. “I’m not sure where to start.” The statement hung in the air unanswered before the girl reached for the door’s latch cracking the creaking door open.

The two were instantly hit with a burst of musky stale air that was a mixture of old wood and dust. The inside was just as cluttered as the outside, chaotic and jumbled, just how she felt right now, just as her pop left it.

“It’s the same.” The girl breathed taking a step inside to get a better look. “Expecting something different?” The man asked quick to enter behind her. “I guess I thought it would be strange to be back. Since he died here…” Another pause as she looked around and turned to walk in further “…but I don’t really feel…anything” She sighed walking up to the counter to tap on the wooden table. There is a small chuckle that comes from her lips as her eyes scan her grandfather’s notes that are scattered like shattered glass across it. A pen most likely the very one her grandfather died holding lay among the notes is plucked from the mess and held firmly by the girl.

“I loved my grandfather but is it bad that I was more worried about his dog then him?” The question comes out as a whisper and was mostly to herself but the answering “No” made her shift her gaze to the man again, catching her attention. His eyes finally met hers with a look that made her feel better and she smiled another small smile he seemed to mirror.

“I’m Courtney, Courtney Roberts what’s your name Sir?” She was asking before she even knew she was doing it.

“Will. Will Graham.”


	2. Succulet

Chapter one: Succulent

It was hard on her, the first few months of owning the tackle and bait shop, mostly due to the lack of customers. However in those weeks she was able to clean up the place and make it presentable to the public, even being able to afford some new shelves. It was still the same old shack but Courtney could see why her pop kept the place, it was nice to create something, build something. By the third week of being open and seeing not a soul, not even Mr. Will Graham, she knew she needed to find something to keep herself afloat.

Deciding that finding a job in town and having the shop open only on the weekends would be much better use of her time she did just that. Getting a job in town wasn’t hard, working part time at the local grocery store she was able to afford her basic necessities. The transition went okay, not as smoothly as she would have liked. Her father was adamant about trying to convince her to let the small shack burn or waste away but had limited himself to snide comments she allowed herself to settle into her new surroundings; still undecided if this was really worth the trouble. In the end she was still undecided but pushed forward, and since she worked at the grocery store, she could self-promote the shop. Still even with that not many people would show up. She could admit though it was a bit of a long drive and many people stopped vacationing in rural areas. They went to the “hot spots” like Florida or California or even the beach. Summer vacations with the family seemed far and few between nowadays.

***

It was after a few months more of promoting herself when things started to pick up a bit, though the men who entered were a bit less tasteful. They seemed more interested in the “new management” as they put it. It was off putting but she really had no way of stopping it, the best she could do was carry a hunting knife and mace with her. It was a couple of weeks after the weird encounter when she saw Will again. Was a slow day, like normal on the weekend and Courtney was fettling with a new lure she was making when she heard the door open. Her eyes raised to see who it was but with the new shelves it was hard to see who it might have been. She hoped it wasn’t the guys who stared at her like meat.

“Hello I’m at the desk, If you need anything let me know” She called out while placing a small red feather near the top of a fishing hook and wrapping some wire around it tightly winding it over and over before adding another feather. When she heard footsteps come towards her, she glanced up seeing a familiar head of brown curls walk into another isle, the same grey green jacket she saw the last time he was here.

“Mr. Graham good to see you, or rather parts of you” She laughed looking back down at the hook she was working on.

“You moved things.” Was all he said as he continued to look around the shop idly and Courtney hums an affirmation loud enough for him to hear “Yep. As you know it was a bit cluttered in here. Had to make it at least somewhat organized” she called again but got no response this time. It was several minutes later when he appeared out from the shelves and walked calmly towards the desk, by now Courtney was hyper focused on wrapping a small piece of shiny metal to the hook and didn’t realize he was there.

“That’s an interesting lure.” Will stated watching her fingers wrap the hook with delicate hands not very skillful but knowledgeable.

“Don’t pick on me.” She laughs stopping to look up at Will though his eyes don’t leave the lure. “I was a kid when was taught how to do it, haven’t made one in a long time” She chuckles before glancing at Wills hands, he holds some tools and items that are obviously for lure making

“and it looks like we have an expert too, how embarrassing.” She quips her hands falling from her work. He glances up and their eyes meet for a few seconds before he’s looking away as if shying away from her and blinks a few times as if stressed. “I do some lure making.” He spits out his reply as if it were forced but not angry. Courtney nods her head in understanding before holding out her hand for the items. Her Grandfather has a sheet for prices as she looks up the items will is already listing off the amount.

“Its $11.75.” He seems to swallow hard and clench his hands as if he’s in distress.

“Will.” She calls and he looks up at her with his blue, she smiles at him and sets the things into a bag. “You’re uncomfortable. I hope I’m not making you feel that way. I’m not usually too chatty either. If it would make you more comfortable we don’t have to exchange the normal pleasantries.” Her tone is even and calm as she sets the bag aside. His nod is short and Courtney bites her lip hard a question bubbling up to the surface she has to force back.

He notices, his perceptive eyes watching her chew her lip. “You want to ask something.” He grunts out pinching the bridge of his nose “I don’t know if you’d find it rude.” She whispers even though it is only them in the tiny store. He looks at her as if to say just ask so she does. “I don’t mean to be rude but are you on the spectrum? My sister, she’s autistic” she pauses and readjusts her gaze to the bag “…she acts similar to you. Socially. ” She says as lightly as she can eyes downcast as if ashamed of asking something so personal. There is a long moment of silence before he breaths out “Yes.” she nods her head. He puts the money down, it’s exact.

He plucks the bag off the counter and stands there for a few more minutes as if he’s antsy. A bark breaks the silence and Courtney looks down as Blue a chubby Pit-bull waddles over to Will. “He smells my dogs on me” Will whispers and he kneels down, a beautiful smile gracing his face as he pets Blue’s head.A warm smile graces Courtney’s face as well as she also kneels down to pet the smiling dog who pants happily.

“Dogs you say, how many?” she asks

“Seven.” is his answer and Courtney is surprised looks over at Will showing him she’s surprised but pleasantly so. “Seven wow” She breaths and looks at him with a dopey grin “What are their names!” She says excitedly and he turns to her with that bright smile and she is blinded by it.

“They are strays I find wondering around, the newest addition is Winston I found him about 8 months ago on the street. Then there is Buster he’s a troublemaker always the first one out the door. Zoe’s got an under bite but she’s still a pretty girl” He laughs still petting Blue scratching his ears and under his chin as he continues.

“Max is just like his brother but with food always trying to sneak from the others bowls, Jack’s a sweetheart loves to sleep the closest to me. But Harley is the most protective and Ellie is just a lazy girl always begging for treats.” He finishes and looks at Courtney as she pets Blue, their hands touch and Will can’t help but flinch slightly. But she doesn’t seem to notice, or doesn’t comment on it either way Will’s thankful.

“Man you’re living the life. A house full of dogs, I’d be so happy” She laughs as Blue turns to smooch her so she doesn’t notice the shift in Wills gaze as he stands up

“If you want, you can bring Blue over to my house. I’m sure he’d love to play with them” He rasps, as if he didn’t mean to say it out loud. Courtney looks up at him with excited eyes but still asks. “Are you sure Mr. Graham?” even as she saying it Will can tell she’s hopeful he won’t change his mind

“What happened to calling me Will?” He asks instead noting the change and can’t help his curiosity. “Oh uh well I didn’t want to assume you are okay with me using your first name” She says as she stands

“Will is fine, especially if I’m inviting you over to my house.” Immediately after he says it out loud he winces, that sounded like a proposal. “I mean to meet the dogs” He says looking away his foot tapping on the wood floor rapidly as if uncomfortable again.

“Don’t worry Will, its fine” She says as she blushes red at the thought. Will shakes his head

“You’re too young anyway” His hands clenching and un-clenching.

“How old do you think I am Mr. Graham?” She says slightly flirtatiously. At that Will cracks a smile as he looks down at the floor. “You look about 19, 20” He says looking back over at her blinking rapidly as if solidifying his estimate.

“Pfff you think I’m that young? No. I mean I’m still young, 25 but wow. No wonder people talk to me like I’m a child.” She laughs with a wide smile scratching the back of her head her curly black hair falling onto her shoulders. Will does a double take before looking a bit closer searching her face while she pulls out some paper. “Alright but when is a good day for you? I’m free this Thursday if you want me to bring Blue over.”

Will nods and writes his address and number on the paper with a half-smile before leaving. It’s only after, that she thinks it does kinda sound like a date and can’t stop the blush even if she knows she’s being silly.

***

The week passes slowly and quickly all at once for Will Graham, his life is a whiplash of Jack ordering him around, making him see things he can’t forget and Hannibal’s sessions that have been eye-opening in some ways, but confusing in most. Not to mention all the traveling he’s doing on an almost daily basis; what with crime scenes in various areas, doing his lectures, seeing Hannibal, and going to the bureau.

So it’s a surprise to Will when he hears his dogs barking at the door and there is a small almost timid knocking at the door followed by whining and a pawing from the other side. Will walks briskly to the door and standing there is the girl from Ron’s bait shop. She’s wearing a plain black oversize hoodie, a pair of worn out blue jeans that seem to hug her thicker frame and a pair of dark boots. She has thick dark black curls, that kind of remind him of Freddie Lounds but that’s the only thing that’s similar. The curls are long and pulled from her face in a hair tie.

She has a sweet smile on her face, her green eyes are bright and warm as she looks at him and then down at the dogs who gather around the door. They are sniffing at the screen door trying to get a whiff of the new pup. He looks back up and watches as she laughs and says hi to his dogs. He watches as she steps back as he opens the door his dogs filing out hightailing it into the field. Her dog Blue waits, tail wagging for his leash to be taken off, whining and pulling to follow the pack. She chuckles and shushes him lightheartedly before the leash is taken off and he runs after them all.

They both watch as they play for a few minutes before turning towards each other.

“Hi” Will says kindly.

“Hello Will. I hope I’m not disturbing you.” she smiles standing on his porch out of place here, he usually didn’t have guests... well maybe that was a lie. Recently he had been having many guests in the form of Jack, Alana and Hannibal.

“Do you want a drink?” He asks as he opens the door wider for her to enter. She looks back at the dogs in the field before she steps though.

“A water would be nice thank you” She nods as he gestures to the chairs in the living room. As he leaves the room Courtney perches herself on a chair and looks around the room. It is neat and orderly but still gives off a homeliness about it. It brings a smile to her face as she plays with her fingers nervously. As her eyes keep scanning the room once more they land on a table to the left, a hook posted on a rubber holder.

It’s a pretty red feathered lure that he must be working on. She notices several other lures being worked on in various colors and states of work, some nearly completed some just piles of supplies that would eventually be made. It was nice to get a small look into his personal life, mostly because he was nice but also because he was the only person she really knew in the area. It was comforting to know that she knew someone if she needed help with anything. Hearing footsteps gliding back to the room she looks up as will passes her a cup cool to the touch as he sips from a mug steaming with hot liquid. He doesn’t sit.

“Thank you” She nods taking a sip. Will hums in acknowledgement sipping from his cup as well, the distant sound of barking the only real noise in the room. There was a silence that was more comforting rather than awkward as she watched from the window the pack of dogs play with each other. She laughed when one of wills dogs ran so fast he tripped before shaking himself off and continue to run.

“Thank you for inviting me, Blue seems to be having a lot of fun” Courtney says breaking the silence. Will nods, looking out the window with her, they do this for a while until the dogs are running to the door for water and Will moves to let them in. They crowd the water bowls before running over to the new person in the home. Blue is staring happily up at Will and he can’t help but lean down to pet the happy pup as Courtney is surrounded by his pack.

“Whoa whoa, hello everyone” She chuckles reaching to pet every one of them, as Will tells her who they are. Once they settle down Will sits and they look at each other as if finally settling into the idea of being in the house together.

They both smile awkwardly and Courtney starts off again “Really thank you for inviting me, your dogs are sweet and you house is very nice.” Again she is looking around. Besides the dog hair the place is orderly and spotless, she thinks back to her grandfather’s home and sighs. She really needs to clean it up too, but it’s weird touching things that aren’t really hers it feels invasive.

“It’s not much but its home.” Will says flatly again sipping his drink contently as if he’s not sure what to talk about.

Courtney hums “Being out her on your own must feel like paradise. The stars at night must be really beautiful” Courtney says absentmindedly petting the small dog Zoe, her prominent under bite is cute in a way that makes Courtney smile wide.

“Yes.” Is all Will says foot bouncing slightly with nervous energy.

“So do you make lures for a living or do you do something else?” Courtney asks tilting her head up to address Will, who was watching her pet Zoe fondly. “I’m a special consultant for the FIB.” Will tells her shifting to pet Max as if he needed comfort.

“Oh wow” Courtney says looking around suspiciously before continuing “Should you be telling me that Will?” She whispers nervously and Will can’t help the chuckle it brings to him, small and light but still there. “You’ll be alright to know it’s not a well-kept secret” He tells her still smiling slightly at her question. “Ah so what do you consult on?” She wonders out loud before looking sheepishly over at Will “I mean if you can go into that, haha, I’ve never met an FBI agent, uh well knowingly I mean” She states looking sorry for asking, Will finds in endearing.

“I consult on serial killer murders. I can-” He pauses to look away before tensing up “understand where they are coming from.” He whispers as if he didn’t want to tell her, as if he knew she would think he was crazy.

“Hm, that’s rather fascinating” she nods and continues “and you know a lot about serial killers?” she asks and Will gives her a weird look and starts to answer but before he can she’s stumbling out something else “Um I mean, I know it might sound weird but I do read about true crime. It’s a fascination I can’t really break, I guess I’m too curious of a cat.” She was nervous again, already wringing her hands and Will can’t help but stare long and hard as she twisted them.

“I understand their motives, can think like them.” Will answers and sips again at his drink thankful that he had something to occupy himself with. “Ah, so you have always done this then?” She can tell that this is a sore subject so tries to be less direct, hopeful that she can diverge the conversation.

“Was a cop before, but I was too unstable. Got stabbed by an assailant, couldn’t pull the trigger.” Will tells her the phantom ache of the blade causes him to twitch and roll his shoulder.

“Oh wow that must have been painful. I’m sorry to hear that.” Her caring tone reaches him and his lips twitch upwards.

“Don’t be I was able to start teaching because of it, my mind was used to teach FBI academy students on serial killers, though being active again is not conducive to providing an education.” Will says bitterly thinking of how Jack had stormed into his lecture hall and rushed his students out.

“Sounds like you’re being pulled away from something you love to do.” Courtney commented before drinking her water slowly giving him time to sort out his answer. “It’s not that. I like being out on the field I know I’m saving people. But there’s a cost, and I think the cost will break me.” The statement is desperate, almost lost and It’s suffocating as it lingers in the air for a moment.

Courtney leans toward Will her cup still in one hand, her other reaches out to rest in the air hovering over Wills arm. Her eyes ask if she can touch him and Will nods hesitantly. Her warm fingers on his arm are comforting and soft. He’s not sure if he’s ever felt comforted by just a hand on him, not that many people touch him but it was nice. They smile at each other it’s a welcome reprieve for moment. But it’s cut short when the dogs start barking up a storm and a familiar black Chevrolet Suburban pulls up to his house.

They look back at each other and he stands moving towards his coat rack and pulls on a jacket. “That’s my boss. Jack.” Will turns to a table and puts is glasses on while Courtney leaches Blue up and waits for will to return to the door.

Will is walking her out when Jack appears on the porch. “Oh I didn’t know I was interrupting something.” He says with a straight face brown eyes landing on Courtney will a questioning look.

“Oh I was just visiting with Blue here.” She says gesturing to her pup who is sniffing at jack’s leg. Jack seems to look at her dog with weary eyes and seeing that Courtney’s demeanor changes to defensive.

“He’s not aggressive if that’s what you’re thinking.” She says protectively pulling Blue away from Jack and taking a step back. Will places a hand on her shoulder and it soothes her she looks over to him and nods.

“I meant no offence” Jack is quick to sooth and smiles.

Courtney gives a hard nod at Jack as she faces him “I’m Courtney Roberts, nice to meet you” she says holding her hand out for a shake. Jack is quick to take it and gives it a hard squeeze. “Jack Crawford”. There is a spark of recollection in her eyes as she processes the name but she doesn’t say anything else to him. She simply turns to Will with a warm smile and a shrug “I guess I’ll see you around Will, you have my number if you need anything” She says pulling Blue along the porch to her little cream mini cooper as she drives away with a wave.

Will watches her go. Jack raises an eyebrow at him.

“Who’s the girl?” Jack asks with a hint of amusement in his voice. “S-she’s the owner of the bait and tackle shop up the road.” He says absentmindedly before tuning to look at jack.

“She’s a bit young Will” Jack says accusingly to which Will bristles “It’s not like that.” He sighs and places a hand to his face in frustration and rakes it down his face to try and wipe away the pain blooming in his skull.

“I’m assuming something’s happened.” Will sighs already feeling a strong migraine forming at the back of his eyes. “Yeah, up in Baltimore at the state hospital for the criminally insane. A nurse left with a patent. Alone. Similar to the ripper” Was all jack said as he sauntered towards his car Will following obediently.

***

When Will goes to Hannibal Lecter for his appointment at 7:30pm he’s not sure what to expect but a glass of wine and a new theory for the Chesapeake Ripper courtesy of Hannibal is not what he’s expecting.

Nor was he expecting opening up about things would be…easier than normal, then again they were just two people having conversations under the guise of therapy.

“Jack told me about a young woman you are seeing.” Hannibal says softly, almost delicately to not seem accusing. Will huffs and rolls his eyes sitting back down in the chair opposite to Hannibal.

“And I already told him it’s not like that.” It is obvious that Will is distressed when he sets the wine glass down on the table and rubs his eyes. Hannibal tilts his head at Wills answer as if curious

“Tell me about this girl is she agreeable, prepossessing?” Hannibal asks folding his hands in his lap intertwining his fingers and leaning back into his chair slightly, as if to give more room for Will to take space in, opening the floor to him. Will sighs as if a pressure is lifted from him slightly

“If we’re going to be talking about my relationship status Dr. Lecter, I’m going to need something harder than wine.” Will scoffs tapping his fingers against the arm rest of the chair. Hannibal’s eyes are drawn to the rhythmic tapping before he looks up at Will.

“Another stray perhaps?” Hannibal asks eyes on Will, who grabs his wine glass, hesitates over the brim and answers in a whisper “Perhaps.”

“You are drawn to lost things Will.” Hannibal states as if it were fact watching for Wills reaction. There is a smirk that rises Wills lip as he breaths out a semblance of both a laugh and a scoff as he's shaking his head. “How is she lost?” Hannibal continues shifting slightly in his seat while Will stairs down into his wine glass. He doesn’t answer so Hannibal asks a different question

“How are you lost, Will?”

“I’m lost in my own mind and every time I go deeper it feels like I’m pulling something back with me.” Will whispers distressed and looks up at Hannibal locking eyes with him. Will notices the pure whites of them that contest with the dark brown irises that swirl around a darker pupil. Hidden in the darkness is a spark of something he can’t place as he says

“I feel it growing stronger and I’m scared.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter one is complete, PLEASE give me feedback! And thank you so much for reading <3


	3. Foie gras

Chapter two: Foie gras

Courtney is just about to leave her shift at the grocery store when she gets a call from Will. It’s so surprising that she hesitates for a half second before she’s answering with a worried expression. They haven’t talked in a week or so. “Hello, Will?” She asks, slinging her bag over her arm, phone pressed between her ear and shoulder as she fumbles with her keys.

“Hi.” Is Wills awkward reply and Courtney imagines him rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

“Everything okay?” She says slowly as she stops what she’s doing to focus on the man on the phone. “Yeah.” He starts clearing his throat “I-uh I don’t know why I’m calling.” She can tell he’s a bit confused from his tone and she chuckles “Well I’m not sure either but, it’s nice to hear from you.” She laughs as she resumes opening her car door with a delighted smile.

“Where are you?” Will asks hearing a car door open on the other end of the line. “I was about to head home after my shift. But I can swing by if you need some company.” Courtney offers as she’s sliding into the car. “Okay.” Will answers, he seems lost and Courtney can’t help but frown. “I’ll be over in a jiffy” she tells him and she hears a small tired chuckle on the line before they say goodbye.

***

It takes her 45 minutes to get to Wills after change out of her work clothes and grabbing blue. She feels like an intruder as she pulls up to the cozy quiet house at the end of the lane with her noisy car. It’s late and even though she knows Will’s still awake, evident from his call and the lights coming from the house, she still can’t shake the feeling of intruding. Still she had drove here and wasn’t going to cancel when her only friend seemed to need her. Besides, blue was already barking as she parked the car, alerting that she had arrived. Courtney leans over to the passenger side door to let Blue out, just as the house door opens.The pack of mismatched dogs run out as Blue is scampering out into the yard. Friendly barks are exchanged as they all run around to the back of the house playfully.

Will himself appears in his doorway moments after the dogs, his hair still a mass of messy curls, still in a casual button up and slacks but his glasses are gone. He sticking his hands in his pockets, walking forward out into the yard as she shuts her car door behind her.

“Hello again” She greets with a smile walking closer to him but as she notices the dark circles under his eyes her smile falters noticing just how bloodshot and puffy his eyes were . He looks like he hasn’t slept in weeks. Instantly she feels a tug of guilt on her heart strings for asking to come over. “Hi” his tone tired as he blinks back sleep. “Oh Will, you look so tired. Are you sure you want me to stay?” She questions looking directly at him, he pointedly avoids her gaze watching as the dogs move in and out of the light playing. The air is cool on his skin and he doesn’t know why but seeing her is refreshing, probably because she’s not tangled up in his work life. For that he is immensely grateful for the reprieve.

“It’s fine. I’m just not sleeping well.” Will hesitates not looking over at her. Courtney sighs “I can imagine. Your job is stressful.” Courtney concedes her eyes wondering from Will up to the night sky. The moon is full and shines beautifully, eliminating the whole open area of the field. “I’m not sleeping too great myself. Pop’s house feels foreign…empty” She sighs tilting her head slightly as if deciding it that was the right word. When she doesn’t correct herself Will nods, even though she’s not watching him. There is a shift in the wind that caresses Courtney’s face and she closes her eyes at the feeling of it. Today had been a stressful day at work and just listening to the faint sound of chirping crickets, dogs barking and wind blowing in her ears puts her at ease. She wishes it was the same for Will, but knowing what he did for a living she doubted closing his eyes was a pleasant experience.

Will watches Courtney as she closes her eyes body relaxing as she just listens to the sounds around them. The wind is blowing her curls from her pale face and he acknowledges that she’s a beautiful young woman as she stands there in his yard. The warm light form his porch shining on her smooth skin, her lips plump and kissable as the dogs barking happily in the background. Closing his eyes as well, he can’t help feel peace wash over him like a warm blanket and wishes he could always feel like this. His breathing slows and he feels his own shoulders that are normally tense ease letting himself become comfortable. He’s only snapping his eyes opening again when he hears the clicking of hooves. Turning his head just the right of Courtney, he watches as the dark stag slowly walks up the them and stops right beside her looming. The stag’s dark eyes lock on Wills and he’s gasping for breath as it’s sucked forcefully from his lungs. The stag huffs a breath from its nose, its fur dark and spiky, it almost looks like sharp shards of glass. Will blinks and shakes his head closing his eyes and tries to calm his breathing. When he opens is eyes again it’s gone. Turning away still spooked Will whistles out in the open air, and the dogs know what that means. Even blue is following the pack like he belonged as they run towards the porch. “I have some seafood gumbo if you’re interested” Will calls his tone stained, shoulders tense once again.

“I’m interested” she laughs while walking up the small steps and passes him as he holds the door for her. “Thank you” she nods and stops in the living room as the dogs pile in. Will shuts the door once all the dogs are inside and instantly feels safer. Courtney stands their awkwardly now knowing what to do. “I-uh I don’t know where your kitchen is…” Courtney says shyly and is playing with her fingers again. Will nods stiffly and points his arm in the direction of said room while placing a hand to her back to guide her. It’s warm against her and sends a tingle up her spine as they walk into the humble kitchen and the tangy smell of gumbo hits her full force.

“Ooh that smells good” she hums moving to sit on one of the chairs. Will laughs despite what happened outside, he’s still spooked but doesn’t want to show it.

“It’s the only thing I really know how to cook.” he shrugs 

“A fisherman at heart huh?” She asks watching as he pulls out two bowel’s and fills them with steaming rice

“Well, when you grow up on a boat your whole life, you learn to cook from the sea.” Was his reply as he uses a lattle to potion out the gumbo into the bowls

“Ah, so an adventurous fisherman. Tell me was it nice to travel?” She smiles as he places a bowel down in front of her and hands her a spoon. Its piping hot but the smell is so mouthwatering that she can’t help but dig in. As she takes her first bite the strong flavor of shrimp, crab, red peppers, and creole full her palate. At the end the smoky spice of jalapeno explodes in her mouth.

“Oh wow, this is amazing!” she says amazed!

“It’s pretty simple” he says as he takes a spoon full himself, the dogs crowding their legs begging for treats, they both ignore their pleas. Will picks up the conversation by answering her previous question. “The view always looked the same on the water. It didn't really matter where I was.” He mutters after blowing on his spoon to cool everything down.

“Mm, still the water must have been calming if you like fishing so much” Courtney offers while tapping her fingers on the table absentmindedly.

“What about you?” Will asks slurping some of the gumbo down his throat.

“Mm. Fishing was something my Pop liked and when I came to visit we always went to the streams. Giant water pants on and wading through the murky water. It was special.” She sighs reminiscing as she continues to eat her food.

“The bait shop part of that?” Will asks her and she nods with a conflicted expression “Yeah he loved that shack. But it caused a lot of family problems. My dad wants me to let it rot. Sometimes I wonder if I should…” She muses stopping to take another bite savoring it before continuing “but business is starting to pick up, somewhat. Though I’m not sure for the right reasons.” She sighs swirling her spoon around. “Why do you say that?” Will wonders aloud eye brow raised in his questioning. “Mm well,” She starts putting her spoon down. Her hands twists as she nervously plays with them, Will as come to relate this action to distress and waits for her to continue.

“Recently a group of men have been hanging around the shop. They buy stuff…sometimes but the way they linger is…off putting. It kind of creeps me out” She says rubbing her arm nervously. “I’m all alone sometimes so I’ve begun to carry a knife and mace just in case but…” She trails off her lips twisting in a grimace. “I know against more than one it’s kinda pointless.” She shrugs and reaches for a spoon to continue eating. Will’s hands clench and un-clench, jaw tight as he stairs into his bowl. Just thinking about her in pain or in trouble makes his skin crawl.

“If you need somebody, call me.” Will tells her his hand clasping her shoulder strongly and she nods happily. “It’s nice to have someone to talk to besides blue. Thank you.” She sounds relieved and Will is happy just knowing he did something to help.

Courtney turns to him “I’m here for you too Will. I wont assume I’m the only one you have. But uh, you called me. Is there something you wanted to talk about? Something to get off your chest?” She questions lightly eyes looking up searching Wills. She hopes he will open up because she sees desperation lurking in the blue depths. Past the facade he’s hurting and something darker lingers for a moment before he’s turning away and closing his eyes.

“No. No, I have a therapist for that” He laughs but it sounds more like a scoff, as if it were a private joke. Courtney nods even though he can’t see it.

“Therapists can be very helpful.” Courtney says spooning another bite of gumbo. “I don’t see the point. I already have enough going on in my head. I don’t need someone poking around in it.” He sighs turning in his seat out towards the living room, his dogs traipsing around contently.

“Yet, you still have a therapist.” Courtney states to give like it gives validity to her previous statement. “I-its mandated.” He says in a bitter whisper. “Mandated, why?” Courtney asks confused her brow furrowing as her eyes look Will over.

“Not many people like me.” He says with a sarcastic smile before tapping his foot on the floor.

“Mm.” She agrees “You’re very unique. I like that about you” Courtney smiles and turns from the table like him watching the dogs. Some of them are lounging on the chairs and floor. Blue is snuggled up to Zoe who is sleeping against him. “He’s happy here” Courtney notes fondly nodding over at blue, a small sad smile pulling at her lips.

“If I didn’t love him…need him” She corrects “I’d leave him with you.” She chuckles tucking some stray hair behind her ear. Will watches her for a moment. Watches her heavy sigh and fingers twitching in her lap, and wants to comfort her in some way, but he’s not sure he can. So he says the only thing he knows is true. He moves forward in his chair till his arms are resting on his thighs, looks over at her and says

“He’d miss you” in a light tone nodding as he turns to watching the dogs again.

She smiles.

***

Will feels extremely stable when he’s in his classroom teaching, he feels more in control. Sometimes as he stares up at the rafters during class instead of his students he sees empty seats, it easier for him to lecture on those days. When he does see them, he’s able to mostly ignore them by talking at them. He likes not being forced to socialize when he doesn’t want to. It feels safe. This is a safe place where he can talk about murder and think about murder without judgement. Or at least, less judgement then he would be subjected to outside the walls of the academy. However, with the progression and increase of Ripper killings, it was getting harder and harder to maintain his teaching position. Will was thankful that Alana was taking over when she could, he trusted her to educate his students more than anyone else, but that couldn’t last forever.

Will pauses and thinks back to what Courtney had said to him when he first invited her to his house, the words ringing in his ears softly like a beautiful melody.

_Sounds like you’re being pulled away from something you love to do_

Shaking the words away and pushing them to the back of his mind he sighed. His lectures had been done over an hour ago but he was still in the class room, he normally waited here before going to his appointment with Hannibal. Today, he thought he would look more into the Ripper case, especially since Jack was being persistent. Will understood why. Jack had been receiving calls almost every night, his previous trainee’s voice asking for help. It got harder when her arm was found. Thus, Will found himself surrounded with photos of the Rippers victims scattered randomly across his table. He was tired as he sat there, looking deeper and replaying the crimes over and over in his head. Eventually he couldn’t look anymore and decided to take a break…it occurs to him suddenly that his mind is drifting, but realizes too late as his mind takes him somewhere else.

_Will sits in an open similar to his own at home, random outcroppings of trees scattered around him. The sky is cloudy and overcast, it reminds him of himself and what he feels inside. Sitting across from him is Abigail Hobbs sitting poised, hands in her lap. Her blue eyes are the brightest thing he’s ever seen in his life. So clear and pure. Her straight brown hair dances lightly in the wind and she smiles at him. In the middle of them is a girl that looks similar to Abigail. Same age, same height, same pure blue eyes. The girl is mounted on the silky smooth antlers of a buck’s head that sits positioned perfectly between them. Her body is splayed out as if relaxed, even as blood drips down the wounds and into the grass. She should reek of decay and death but she smells like nothing as if she were always an inanimate object. They pay it no mind. “It’s better that it’s just the two of us” Abigail says almost breathless. Will is staring fondly at her, his eyes never wonder. It’s peaceful and quiet in the field even as someone off in the distance calls his name. He can’t look away. Abigail looks startled at the call of wills name, looking around wildly before her eyes lock on Will.. “Dad?” It sounds surprised and scared but Wills lips upturn at the ends at the title. He was her dad now wasn’t he? “Yes?” He answers his voice is monotone, like it shouldn’t be him who’s answering her call, but he does anyway. Abigail gives Will a hard look. “There’s someone else here.”_

Something is pulling Will back and he doesn’t know where he is anymore, its dark and cold. Will looks around as something snaps in him and he’s now in his lecture room. The change is striking and terrifying. In the door way stands Hannibal Lecter. His suit is immaculately tailored to his form, perfectly angled to fit his shoulders and torso. Today it’s blue with faint detailing of checker boarding sewn throughout. His tie and dress shirt contrast’s the blue in pale yellow. Its completing in the weirdest way. Hannibal’s hair is well kept as always not a strand out of place and stands with a posture that is ridged. Will still disoriented doesn’t think anything of it as Hannibal walks his way into the lecture hall in long strides.

“I have a 24-hour cancellation policy.” He states his voice sounds slightly disappointed, he stops a bit before the desk. Will breaths a quiet “oh” as his eyes dart around, squinting in confused.

“What time is it?” He questions still dazed and hazy, blinking back sleep. Hannibal strides confidently closer answering with a tilt to his head. “Nearly nine o’ clock” His lips are set in a straight line as he looks down at Will.

“Oh, I’m sorry” Will apologies reaching for his face and rubbing his eyes, he feels zapped of energy.

“No apology necessary” Hannibal answers professionally and understandingly as Will drags his hands down his face looking around the walls of his lecture hall around him.

“I must have fallen asleep” Will tries to remember what happened but draws a blank as he knits his eyebrows together still confused. He looks up to Hannibal “Was I sleepwalking?” He ponders, feeling the same way he did a couple of months ago. He had been sleepwalking down the side of the road and didn’t stop till two officers found him, feet worn almost to the point of blistering.

“Your eyes were open, but you were not present.” Hannibal answers his voice calm and soothing. But his eyes are dark and looming as he places a hand in his pocket shifting his stance. Will nods slightly blinking away the rest of the haziness “Jeez” he breaths out as a sigh hand covering his eyes again.

“Felt as if I was asleep” He grumbles voice deep and raspy. Hannibal’s eyes him harder studying him closely. “I need to stop sleeping all together” Will mumbles and continues again “Best way to avoid bad dreams.”

Will sighs stretching his shoulders as he changes his posture in his seat. His back is killing him, but he pays it no mind. Hannibal turns to study the lecture all, his head turns slightly before he glances at the desk littered with crime photos “Well, I can see why you have bad dreams.” His Lithuanian accent changing the pitch of certain words, like an old melody.

Will makes a move to stand, gesturing to the photos with an outreached arm “What do you see, Doctor?” Will questions his arm dropping to his desk, fingers tapping lightly and eyes trained on Hannibal who’s is glancing at the pictures as if to get a general idea of what he’s looking at before he moves take a closer look.

“Sum up the Ripper in so many words?” Hannibal asks fingers finding the sleek photographs and lightly grazing over them sliding them around.

“Choose them wisely” Will grunts back moving forward to Hannibal’s side watching Hannibal’s delicate movements.

“Oh I always do.” Hannibal answers before breathing in a breath to continue “Words are living things. They have personality…point of view…” he trails off as he grabs a photo he finds the most interesting “agenda.” he finishes.

“They’re pack hunters” Will whispers eyes darting up to Hannibal then back at the pile of photos. “Displaying ones enemy after death, has its appeal in many cultures.” Hannibal comments to try and give clarity to the theory.

“These aren’t the Rippers enemies, these are pests he’s swatted” Will argues. This sentence seems to strike a chord in Hannibal and his expression shifts slightly as if he’s surprised at Wills words. “Their reward for their cruelty” Hannibal supplies, it sounds almost like a question.

“Oh,” Will starts with a quite short laugh he tries to quell but fails “he doesn’t have a problem with cruelty. Their reward is for uh, undignified behavior” Will pauses to take a breath

“These ah, dissections are to disgrace them.” Will looks hard at the photo in Hannibal’s hand “it’s…it’s a public shaming.”

“Takes their organs away because, in his mind, they don’t deserve them.” Hannibal finishes and they both look at each other before Hannibal’s eyes are drawn back to the pile. Will keeps looking at him as if replaying the word in his head again and nods backing out of Hannibal’s personal space “In some way.”

Hannibal notices another picture, obviously different from the rest and pulls it from underneath the others. He sees a pale severed arm, purple ligature markings on the wrist as if she were bound. The upper arm is cleanly cut and similar purple coloring crawls up the veins and blossoms in what looks like a bruise. The hand is gripping a sleek black phone tightly. “Who’s this?” Hannibal asks and Will glances at the photo while walking away from the desk. “It’s Jack Crawford’s trainee. She’s not like the other victims. The Ripper had no reason to humiliate Miriam Lass.”

Hannibal’s eyebrows raise as he turns slightly to Will lips pursed before his eyes fall back to the photo “Seems to me he was humiliating someone”

“Yeah, he was humiliating jack” Will supplies with a sigh.

“Did it work?” Hannibal asks offhandedly, eyes trained on the photo still but listening intently.

Will tisk’s at the question before answering “I’d say it worked, really well”

Hannibal places the photo down among the others and adjusts his suit by pulling at his jacket and smooths it with his hands. They stand like that for a few minutes in silence before Will sighs and moves to start organizing the photos better, mostly to clean up. He’s scanning the victim’s photos, remembering the crime scenes trying to replay it in his mind again.

Hannibal moves to join Will on his left and pauses as he notices a different smell on him. He smells like crisp apples and honey blossoms, different from the horrendous aftershave and the faint smell of dog. Hannibal’s eyes shift as if calculating his next move before he falls back to looking down at the table and tapping one of the photos.

“The girl from before, she is well yes?” Hannibal asks sliding a photo over to Will as he reaches for it. Will takes a deep breath and exhales quickly.

“Is Jack still pestering about her?” Will scoffs annoyed, his jaw set and eyes hard as they stare down unblinkingly at his own desk. “So you are still seeing her.” Hannibal confirms for himself glancing over towards Will and notices the way he swallows thickly. Will knows he caught but answers anyway “Yes.” He bites out begrudgingly choosing to preoccupy his hands with some files piled on the table instead of the photos.

“You seem very protective of her. Similar to Abigail.” Hannibal pushes turning to face Will head on in his questioning.

“No. No, S-she’s different from Abigail…” He trails off tapping the files in his hands before setting them down, “Half of me thinks I like her because she’s not involved in…this.” Will sighs heavily gesturing to the photos

“The other?” Hannibal asks tilting his head brows rising slightly at Wills answer.

“She’s…” He trails off before smirking “agreeable and prepossessing.”

Hannibal’s lips raise in a half smile. “Then, you must come to dinner at my home, the both of you.” Hannibal insists still a slight smile on his face.

Will goes to reply but they hear footsteps coming to the door. “Will there you are” Jack Crawford’s voice booms thought the hallway as he walks briskly towards Will and Hannibal, they both look up at the call. Trailing behind him is Beverly Katz trying to keep up with Jacks long strides. “And Dr. Lecter. What a surprise. We have a lead.” Jack continues, it’s obvious he’s in a good mood.

“Would you care to uh, help us catch the Ripper?” Hannibal looks long at Jack before he answers.

“How could I refuse?”

***

They didn’t catch the Ripper that night like Will had predicted. There was no connection to be made and Jack was **_very_** disappointed. He took it out on the team in the form of overtime on the case, going over victims trying to find something to connect them, they found nothing. Though Will hated being bossed around the way he was by Jack, he couldn’t help feeling grateful that he had an excuse to miss Hannibal’s dinner party. He didn’t fit the crowed and he didn’t have the guts to ask Courtney to come with him anyway. The best he could do was drop off a cheap bottle of wine before settling in for hell.

Those couple of weeks under Jack drained him and everyone, but when no new Ripper killings sprung up and Jack had to let them rest. Will was thankful for the reprieve. He had a lot of things he needed to do around the house, but most importantly he wanted to work on his boats engine, take a ride before it got too cold and the rivers froze.

Getting up early to do just that, he pulls the engine in his bed room, poured himself two fingers of whisky and starts his work. It was relaxing not having to think too much, mindlessly unscrewing things checking parts before moving on to others. He was just about to unscrew another part when he heard a faint whining. It sounded like an animal too far off to be any of his dogs but he did a head count just in case, glancing around him. All seven of his pups were surrounding him, lazing about in his bed, their own beds, or on the floor. He listened for a few seconds more, nothing. Shaking it off Will went to keep working but again he heard the whining. It wasn’t uncommon to hear something like that, being in the middle of nowhere, but Will couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.

Deciding it wouldn’t hurt to check, especially because he let his dogs roam freely about the yard and field, he pulled on some shoes and grabbed a coat off the rack near the door. Outside was cold, the brisk air was harsh against his face as he shrugged on the jacket before leaving the porch. He walked across his yard and heard the cry again still he saw nothing. Narrowing his eyes he sighed before going back inside.

He would need help if it was a wounded animal and if it wasn’t wounded, he needed someone to have his back. Reaching for his phone he dialed up Courtney and immediately hoped it wasn’t too early to call. His suspicions were confirmed when a groggy “Hello, Will?” was whispered over the phones speaker

“Yeah, it’s me” He said a grimace on his face

“What’s up?” She questions sweetly.

“I uh was wondering if you could come over today and help me out with something.” He asks tapping his foot on the floor as he shakes his head at waking her up.

“Y-yeah just, let me get dressed” She yawns before saying goodbye.

Twenty minutes later her cream colored mini cooper was pulling up in his drive, Blue barking happily in the passenger’s seat as she parks. Will is waiting on the porch, waving her inside as she’s opening her car door with blue in toe. “So what’s up Will?” She asks pulling her scarf from her neck as she’s ushered inside. She goes to put her scarf on the coat rack but Will stops her with a hand on hers. He watches her cheeks redden a possible blush or it could be the cold air, he couldn’t tell. “Were gonna need to go outside.” Will tells her opening the door again, they leave the dogs inside.

“So what exactly are we doing?” Courtney wonders aloud following Will across the lawn, out to the field. “I heard a whimpering animal out here earlier.” He sighs a visible puff of hot air wafts from his lips as he says it. “Ah. So were trying to find it.” Courtney nods and starts walking in a different direction to cover more ground. She’s squinting her eyes as the sun reflects off the patches of snow and when the wind blows on the grass, her eyes dart to the movement. She finds nothing. Its thirty minutes later when her boots are soaked from the snow, legs freezing from the wind and her nose is so cold its red that she calls it quits and makes her way back over to Will.

He’s is scanning around the field with his eyes. “If it wasn’t a coyote, the coyotes probably got it” Will calls looking over to her as she finally makes it to him. He pauses and looks in another direction “Probably got it even if it was a coyote.” He sighs

“Mm then it’s probably gone at this point right?” Courtney asks as they both start to head for the house, they walked pretty far from it

“Be lucky to find a paw” Will answers. “So what are we looking for then?” She wonders looking around still trying to spot anything. “Well, the off chance we find it alive, it’s hard for me to wrangle a wounded animal by myself” Will answers and Courtney nods understandingly.

It’s quiet for a few seconds His next question throws her for a loop “Did you think it was a date?” Her head moves so fast she thinks she gave herself whiplash, trying to catch his eyes but he’s purposely avoiding her gaze. “Oh uh, I never really thought about it.” She mumbles biting her lip. It’s a lie.

“Oh” he lets out a breath and he laughs awkwardly, before he cuts himself off. “Why not?” his tone is a bit harder, sounding as if he’s offended or maybe bitter, she can’t tell. “You don’t seem like you date.” She shrugs and plays with her fingers nervously

“too…broken to date?” He asks in mock offence but she shakes her head no as she continues “…I never really thought I had a shot, being so young you know. I’m sure you know many beautiful women.” She laughs and it sounds a bit sad. They continue to walk together quietly for a few more steps only the sound of crunching snow beneath their feet. “I know you” Will answers and Courtney doesn’t know how to respond so she doesn’t.

“Do you not date?” He asks looking over at her as they walk

“Me? Oh. I mean I’ve dated before but…” She shrugs and kicks at the snow. The subject seems to drop when Will stops too look around again.

“See anything Will?” Courtney asks, Wills has a bewildered expression on his face as she looks at him. “Uh, no actually. I’m not even seeing tacks” he sighs turns to look behind himself “I mean, except for the ones we’ve made.”

“Hm, well as much as I like walking with you, I’d love to get inside. I’m freezing” Courtney laughs and Will nods his head as they walk faster towards the house.

“Got any coco or do you only have, bleh, coffee?” Courtney chides and Will rolls his eyes. “Come on ill make you some.”

He laughs.

***

When Will lets the pendulum swing to recreate a murder seeing Garrett Jacob Hobbs seated in the back of the opera house as he plays Douglas Wilson’s vocal cords like a solo violinist is something never expects. At that moment something in him breaks. His heart starts pumping pure from fear as Hobbs dead glassy eyes stare back at him, into this soul. He is clapping unblinking, a smirk plastered on his face. Will can’t shake it off and is backpedaling out of his recreation, and the connection snaps. Pain blooms like a flower in his skull and his eyes burn When he closes them for relief all he sees is Hobbs.

Will tries to shake the feelings away in the autopsy room, but he can’t. He scares himself at the words that bubble to his lips. He hears it like a mantra echoing over and over.

_Had to open you up to get a decent sound out of you_

Hobbs claps for him

_Had to open you up to get a decent sound out of you_

Hobbs smiles at him

_Had to open you up to get a decent sound out of you_

**Hobbs is him…**

He hears his heart in is ears, it’s so loud he can’t hear himself think.

He needs to think.

He needs to talk.

He needs to see Hannibal.

*** 

Hannibal cancels a previous appointment to talk with him, he's is immensely grateful and surprised. Will tells him about the murder in so many words, leaning against a pillar as Hannibal processes the information. Will feels like a wreck, a speck in the wind hanging on by a thin thread. He hates it.

After telling Hannibal, the Lithuanian moves to one of his shelves filled with all different types of books. Will watches as Hannibal thumbs one specifically, as if he knew were every work he had was positioned. Hannibal pulls it out and stars flipping through pages as he speaks.

“Among the first musical incitements were flutes” Hannibal states as he carries a book towards Will but sets it on the desk “carved from human bone.” Will looks at the book and notices an entry that details the making of bone flutes, a technical drawing accompanying the writing. Will looks back up staring at the wall opposite him.

“This murder was a performance” Will tells his companion as he walks past, looking at the door. He debates leaving, he really doesn’t want anyone in his head but also would rather have Hannibal in it if it meant Garret Jacob Hobbs would disappear. He would learn to be careful what he wished for.

“Every life is a piece of music.” Hannibal suggests starring out the window of his office as he continues “Like music, we are finite events, unique arrangements, sometimes harmonious, sometimes dissonant” Hannibal’s eyes follow after will as he paces the room moving behind the desk.

Will’s hand brushes the top of Hannibal’s chair lightly, as if petting a dog. The motion was so ingrained in positive accusation that he can’t help it. It doesn’t make him feel much better.

“Sometimes not worth hearing again” Will concludes moving away from the desk.

“He’s a poet and a psychopath” Hannibal supplies eyes still trained on Wills movements

“And a craftsman. He was shrinking and tanning the vocal cords” Will reminds firmly. Hannibal moves to mirror will, dropping his eyes to face forward as he moves. They walk around the desk on opposite sides like to half’s of a coin. “Like turning iron wire into musical steel string.” Hannibal agrees pauses and licks his lips as if debating if he should say what he was about to.

“Was there olive oil?” he asks eyes moving to look at Will once more.

“Hn?” Will startles surprised at the mention of it and sleepily reply’s a soft “yes”

“Whatever sound he was trying to produce, it was an authentic one.” Hannibal supplies knowledgeably, placing his hands in his pockets. Will huffs at the information giving Hannibal a skeptical look, hands in his pockets as well.

“Olive oil hasn’t been used hasn’t been used in the production of catgut for over a century. It was said to increase the life of the stings and create a sweeter, more melodic sound.”. Will processes the information with a small understating huff in acceptance before he’s changing his mind.

“nu-No, I hear what he was playing behind my eyes when I close them” Will says nodding to himself to confirm the words. Hannibal gives him an interested look with a tilt of his head upwards he asks

“What do you see behind closed eyes?” Will swallows, remembering and even though he knew the answer would be Garrett Jacob Hobbs he’s still unnerved. Even now with Hannibal he doesn’t want to admit it.

“u-uh I see myself” Will decides to say in a whisper instead. Hannibal looks unconvinced but lets the subject go

“You said the killer was preforming. Who was he preforming for?” Hannibal wonders

“Mm” Will tisk’s looking down at his shoes “I don’t know. Um…” he breaths before looking back up to finish his answer “Patron of the arts? A fellow musician, or…another killer?” Will hypothesizes.

Hannibal’s expression changes as if he finally fit the pieces of the puzzle together in his brain. “It’s a serenade” he concludes.

Will is quick to disagree with a soft shake of the head. “No, this isn’t how he kills. Normally, he doesn’t kill for an audience.” Will debates moving towards Hannibal till he’s standing right in front of him, and leans onto the desk. Hannibal is close enough that he can see the cogs working in Wills brain.

Hannibal is curious “And you believe he risked getting caught for a serenade?”

Will tosses the question around in his head before he says “I believe he wants to show someone how well he plays”

Hannibal’s lips twitch upward. He looks impressed with Will and gives him a slight nod in approval.

***

Will feels better after taking with Hannibal and it helped him make connections he wouldn’t have. Hannibal was a knowledgeable man Will would give him that, but will still couldn’t be completely open with him. Being home felt better two, and he decided to start working on a new lure. He had chosen several feathers one brown and stripped and one green, the green reminded him of Courtney’s eyes and the brown one reminded him of Hannibal's.

They were the two semi stable things in his life and he was grateful for it. He’s just about to snip off the last of the wire when he hears a scraping on the far side of the room. It sounds like claws on brick. Glancing over to the chimney Will hears more clawing and chattering. The animal sounds like it’s in distress, as if it were stuck. Will gets closer listening to the sounds and does the only thing he thinks he can.

In the end he’s left with a busted wall, bricks pulled out and a gaping hole exposing the chimneys soot covered interior as well as an unannounced guest in the form of Alana Bloom. She stares at it long and hard before asking

“What kind of animal was it?” She questions. Will is at a loss for words he didn’t see it, only heard it.

“It might have been a raccoon.”

“Might have been?” Alana questions her tone skeptical and unnerved

“Huh well, by the time I knocked a hole in the chimney, it climbed out the top” Will ensured with a nod as if to solidify the story.

Alana avoided his gaze and breathed in a breath “W-well at least it got out”

Will let’s go of a breath he’s holding and lets the top of his hammer drop into his palm. He feels defeated. Changing the subject Will asks “What are you doing out?” Will’s surprised she’s even here this late. It’s snowing. She shouldn’t be driving to his house late at night, _alone_.

“I thought I’d come over, make some noise, shoo away any predators at your door.” She jokes. He told her about the incident in the field but the joke feels forced.

“Ah” Will nods and moved to place the hammer in his hands down. But as he does he feels antsy, now he has nothing to occupy his hands.

“Looks like your making plenty of noise all by yourself” Alana sighs, its supposed to be snarky, Will finds irritating more.

“You avoided being in a room alone with me essentially since I met you.” Will starts, looking at her as he stands next to the chimney his fingers tap against his leg. “I mean y-you were smooth about it” Will notes with a flourish of his hand.

"Evidently, not smooth enough” Alana sighs crossing her arms.

“And now you’re making house calls?” Will questions making no moves to come closer.

“Just a drive by on my way home, since you’re not my patient.” Alana shrugs half heartedly

“No I’m not.” Will states eyeing her speciously.

At that she breaks with a sigh. “I know about the girl you’ve been seeing.”

“Ha, Did Jack put you up to this?” Will questions scoffing and from Alana’s expression Will knows he did.

“Will I’m not doing it to get on you case but the way you are…” she trails off takes a breath and tries again “She’s not compatible with-” Alana starts before Will is cutting her off to finish her sentence. “The way I am.” Will nods with a scoff, as if he didn’t already know that.

“You wouldn’t be good for her” Alana sighs looking at the hole in the wall.

“Duh” It’s a breathless whisper as he follows her gaze.

“She’s young and wouldn’t be able to understand you-” Alana ties to finish, but will is already cutting her off.

“Why are you telling me this? I. am. Not. Your. Patient. What I do is non of your business.” Will reiterates and Alana sighs. “No, I’m your friend” she concedes but speaks up anyway. “But if you were my patient, my advice to you is not to get involved”

Will is about to say something when they both hear a car horn go off.

***

It’s late again when Courtney is exiting the grocery store it had been an okay day but Will had been clawing his way into her thoughts all week. After helping him look for the wounded animal she went home with crazy thoughts spinning in her head. There last conversation left her mind wondering each day.

Did he like her? **Of course not he’s just being nice, don’t be silly.**

But why would he ask her those things if he didn’t? **Curiosity, you idiot.**

Was he really ready for a relationship? **Probably not.**

She knew that what he did for a living, seeing the horrors of the world, didn’t exactly help his mental state. She just needed to let it go and be his friend, that’s all he needed right now. She was determined to leave it at that. But somehow found herself picking up Blue, changing into comfortable clothes and making her way to Wills. It was as if she was on auto pilot and she didn’t even realize she was there until she sees another car in the drive way that she doesn’t recognize. Puzzled she blinks a few times as if the car will disappear, but it doesn’t.

Courtney’s about to start leaving when Blue wines softly and nudges her with his nose before climbing into her lap. His massive body squeezes in-between her and the steering wheel and his body presses hard there, honking the horn.

“Oh no, oh shit.” Courtney whispers in utter mortification and pushes blue lightly into the passenger’s seat. But it’s too late Will and a woman walk out of his house. The woman beside Will is gorgeous. Her dark hair is pulled back and flows in soft waves over her pale skin which is flawless. She has a slim frame that is extenuated by her red pea coat tied stylishly to the side. As they walk closer Courtney notices that the woman’s eyes are blue like wills. But instead of the swirling pools of uncertainty hers are soft and warm. She’s older, more sophisticated and so much more than anything Courtney thinks she can live up to.

Courtney turns away and covers her face groaning into her hands. She doesn’t want to look anymore, she feels like a prudent child. Placing her head on the steering wheel she begs the world to swallow her into its molten core. It doesn’t.

There is a soft knock on her window and Blue is pushing up against her again begging to be let out. “It’s all your fault” she mutters at the pup before sighing. Looking up she sees Will is standing there smiling, watching her suffer and she just wants to crawl into some dark pit and die.

The woman is standing next to him a welcoming smile on her face but it looks forced and Courtney’s hart sinks even more. Looking back to Will, Courtney motions for him to step back. She opens the passenger side door and Blue is practically jumping into Wills arms with a happy bark after clambering out.

“Jeez, I guess we know who he likes best” Courtney can’t help but tease as she opens her own door. Will kneels in the snow to pet the slobbering ball of love. “Dogs love me” Will says as he starts to stand. Courtney turns to shuts the car door and breaths in deeply for a moment. She turns back with a smile that she hopes doesn’t look forced. Will doesn’t introduce the woman with him so she does it herself.

“Hello, I’m Dr. Alana Bloom. Nice to meet you” She says holding her hand out for a shake.

“Courtney, nice to meet you Dr. Bloom” Courtney says kindly and reaches to shake the hand extended to her.

“I’m one of Will’s friends. I was just stopping by to check up on him” She smiled brightly, and Courtney instantly knows she doesn’t even have a chance with Will. Not with her around. It makes her heart squeeze and she feels like she might vomit.

“Ah I guess we had the same thought” Courtney laughs and starts playing with her hands. Blue the happy go lucky dog makes a beeline to Alana, the unfamiliar person in the group and barks happily demanding attention. Alana reaches down timidly patting Blues head a few times and turns back to Courtney.

“I was just leaving actually. Nice meeting you and your dog.” she smiles again but it looks worried this time as she moves to leave. Will tells her to follow him and they start to walk inside.

“Wow she’s…nice” Courtney says weakly as the door shuts behind them, her eyes stay planted to the floor as she bites the inside of her cheek.

“You were coming to check up on me?” Will asks her and she smiles small. “That, and I was. I was confused about our previous conversation, but uh like I thought your way out of my league.” She laughs and bites harder on her cheek. She can feel the burn of tears in her eyes and clenches her fists tightly. She needed to be stronger than this. Will was her friend, he didn’t have time for some child’s crush.

Will studies Courtney’s body language, notices her tense posture, her hands clenched tightly and hunched shoulders. Her words hit him hard in the chest and he has to breathe in to try and sort his emotions from hers.

“You think I’m out of your league?” Will questions with a small laugh before moving closer to her. Her head is down and he can see the watery tears fill her eyes. Shit he really didn’t know how to comfort people.

“Wait. Okay. Me, Alana are not a thing.” Will starts his hands resting on Courtney’s arms. He squeezes them gently but doesn’t know what else to do so he keeps taking “Alana is a colleague. She has an academic interest in my…in me. She likes analyzing me even though I’m not her patient.” Will sighs and moves a hand to direct her head up to look at him, she does it willingly. He cups her cheek lovingly and brushes a thumb over her cheekbone. Her eyes find his and swallows hard at the soft look he gives her.

“The way I am, it’s…” Will trails off. Her eyes are hypnotic as he looks into them. He watches as the her green eyes mixes with amber flex that are scattered randomly around her iris. The watery sheen is something that should be worrying but Will can’t help but find it beautiful. He’s already leaning down even as he’s protesting. Slowly his hand drifts from her cheek to the back of her neck and into her hair. It makes her gasp lightly and then he’s leaning closer, “I’m not good for you” even as he’s whispering it into her lips, even as she knows it deep in her core, her eyes close of their own volition as he places his lips on hers.

Will groans lightly. She’s soft and pliable when he presses to her and what he tastes of her lips sweeter than any honey he could imagine. And he did imagine. He can’t help the audible sigh makes as he pulls her against him flush. He wasn’t to feel all of her against him hot and wanting and doesn’t know where to put his hands. He can’t stand it. She wants this just as much as him, throwing her arms around him and into his curls, she’s wanted to feel them under her hands for a long while now. He’s kissing her senseless and she doesn’t stop until she needs air more then she needs to kiss him.

She’s gasping as she pulls back her hands sliding from his hair to his shoulders her eyes settle on his collar bone as she catches her breath. “O-oh” she breaths and Will can’t help but chuckle as he presses his nose to her temple. She smells like crisp apples in the summer, and the wildflowers that spring up around the field. “I thought- I mean I’m not really-” She starts but Will moves to press his nose to hers affectionately “Shh.” Will laughs his thumb stroking her cheek softly, Courtney still tried to blabber at him breathlessly “I just, you know I’m so much younger and I-” but Will is already leaning in again to stop her. His lips press harder to hers and deepens it with the presses of his tongue to the seam of her lips, she doesn’t hesitate to let him in. Swirling his tongue he presses the hot muscle against her own and coxes her to move. He can tell she’s never done this before and a small thrill runs through his spine like electric.

It’s not too much later that she pulls away again to take a breath, overwhelmed. Will lets her back up and takes a breath himself. He takes a deep breath to steady himself before taking a step back. At the loss of contact Courtney’s knees wobble but she stays standing even as the dogs crowd around her legs. Courtney swallows hard and watches as Will rubs his forehead with soot covered fingers and quirks a brow before looking over that the chimney.

“Oh, what happened?” Courtney wonders and moves to look at it, a hammer resting on the mantle of the fireplace.

“I heard an animal in the chimney. I tried to get it out.” Will answers offhandedly still trying to think. It’s quiet for a few minutes as things settle the kisses and the words in-between are glaringly opposed. Will goes to sit on one of the chairs and Courtney follows suit opposite of him. He looks at her small smile on her lips swollen from kisses, he bits the inside of his cheek and looks away. The sight is too tempting.

“So, um. Where do we go from here?” Courtney wonders. Will who is a jumble of emotions at the moment looks anywhere but her. He need to talk to somebody. Someone who wasn’t influenced by Jack.

“I don’t know.” Will says blinking rapidly before sighing his hand reaches out and softly caresses her cheek.

“I’m. I wouldn’t be good for you.” He whispers pressing his thumb to her lips. Courtney looks like she understand and it hurts Will just a bit more than it should.

“I need to think about things.” Will sighs and pulls his hand away. Courtney nods her head understandingly they sit for a few minutes before she’s standing and grabbing Blue and his leach. Will walks her to the door and as she’s about to open it, he can’t help but cup the back of her head and kiss her once more. Courtney moans lightly before he’s pulling away again. “Y-you’re giving me really mixed signals here Will” She laughs against his lips.

“I know I’m sorry” he groans

“Am I sill aloud to call you and come over?” She asks as she starts to turn the knob. Will nods his head and she’s smiling again.

“Good. I won’t ask anything of you that a friend wouldn’t until we decide.” She’s telling him sweetly and he wonders how the fuck did it end up like this.

“I-I’ll see you around then Will.” Courtney leaves, and that’s when it hits him.

Taking a deep breath as her car leaves his view he’s grabbing his coat to leave.

He knew he to tell someone.

He knew he needed to see Hannibal.

**_That seemed to be happening a lot lately_ **

**_***_ **

It was an hour drive but it didn’t seem to calm Wills nerves one bit as he sped up the drive. “What am I doing?” Will grunts as he parks, sitting in his car for a few seconds to breathe. His hands are still shaking as he exits the car and walks briskly though the snow to Hannibal’s door. He should feel bad for barging up to his door and ringing his doorbell but, he can’t find it in himself to care not right now. He tries the door and finds it unlocked, in his rush to get inside he doesn’t seem to care.

“I kissed her.” is all he says as he’s shrugging off his coat.  
“Who?” Hannibal asked a bit confused   
“The girl everyone’s so curious about.” Will says bitterly wiping his jacket of snow before placing it on the seat at the door. Hannibal eyes the jacket as Will rushes past.  
“Oh. Well, come in”  


They walk down the hallway to the dining room and Will notices the table set for two. He feels a bit bad not considering Hannibal’s personal life. “You have a guest?”  
“A colleague.” Hannibal supplies, “you just missed him.” He continues walking past Will to close the back door that is letting in the cold air. Will finds it odd to leave in the middle of things, “He didn’t finish his dinner” he offers still flustered from the events from earlier.  
“An urgent call of some sort. He had to leave suddenly” Hannibal assures Will who seems to let it go without much more on the subject. “This benefits you, because I have desert for two.” Hannibal smiles thinly, walking towards his kitchen. Will follows like a lost puppy, still trying to piece together what to do.   
Hannibal grabs a towel off the table and opens the warm oven. He grabs a tray with two perfectly stack deserts and places it on the counter. “Tell me, what was her reaction?” Hannibal questions   
“It was positive. But I told her I wouldn’t be good for her.” Will exhales hands on his hips as a scoff disguised as a laugh breaks though.   
“I don’t disagree, you are much older. Have an empathy disorder and work in the FBI. Most relationships under that kind of stress don’t last.” Hannibal stays absentmindedly busting himself plating his desert.  
“I know.” 

“Wondering then why you kissed her and felt compelled to drive an hour in the snow to tell me about it” Hannibal muses

“Ah well, I wanted to kiss her since I met her, she’s very kissable” He sighs remembering how her lips felt against his.

Hannibal smirks “You waited a long time, which suggests you were kissing her for a reason, in addition to wanting to” He reasons 

“I heard an animal trapped in my chimney. Um…broke through the wall to get it out. Didn’t find anything inside. Alana showed up, she looked at me” Will pauses swallows and darts his eyes around before they land back in Hannibal. “I- maybe her face changed. I don’t know. But um she knew.” 

“What did she know will?” Hannibal hums 

“There was no animal in the chimney. It was only in my head. She told me to stay away from Courtney. But then she showed up…” Will trails off trying to piece together his life but falling short. 

  
“I sleep walk.” Will takes a step closer 

“I get headaches” another step

“I am hearing things” another step and pauses a the counter

“I feel unstable” He breaths out shakily 

  
“That’s why you kissed her.” Hannibal looks up from the sauce he’s mixing “A clutch for balance.”   
Will weaves his head as if saying yes and no. 

“You said yourself what you do is not good for you” Hannibal points out as if telling him he already knew the problem. He did, but Jack was pushing him, and he let himself be pushed around. “Well, unfortunately I am good for it” Will responds shaking his head and closes his eyes for a moment. 

"Are you still hearing this killers serenade behind your eyes?” Hannibal wonders as he finishes the final touches on the desert.  
Will chuckles “Well, it’s our song.”

Hannibal looks up regarding will for a moment before he’s handing him the finished desert, dressed to perfection.  
Its silent as Hannibal debates his options before voicing his concerns. “I hesitate to tell you this as it borders on a violation of doctor patient confidentiality.” Hannibal takes a pause but Will doesn’t object. Hannibal sighs as if uncomfortable before continuing “A patient told me today he suspects a friend of his may be involved with the murderer at the symphony.”  
Will not expecting another thing to be unloaded on him takes a long needed breath, wiping his eyes before nodding

“Right um…um what did he said about his friend?”  
“He owns a music store in Baltimore, specializing in sting instruments. Perhaps you should interview him.” 

Will nods “Yeah.”

***

The tip that Hannibal had given Will led to whirlwind of events that saw two cops, Hannibal’s patient, and the perpetrator all laying in blood.  
Jack was the first to enter Hannibal’s private office and when he only saw Jack make his way in, Hannibal had feared the worst. But like a phoenix rising from the ashes Will appeared in the threshold unscathed.

  
When Will had heard that Hannibal’s practice was in shambles, he had hoped the man was alright, it seems Hannibal felt the same. The small breath reminiscent of a laugh left Hannibal’s bloody lip like he was expelling his worries. Will made his way to Hannibal who sat nursing his wounds.   
Hannibal’s eyes were glassy and he starred up at Will a smile tugging at the ends of his lips “I was worried you were dead” Hannibal rasped swallowing thickly. Will’s only reply was a smile. The two stared at each other for a few moments, appreciating that they were both alive. Jack was the one to break things between them, it wouldn’t be the first time. His tone was a bit accusing as he addressed Hannibal.   
After Jacks questioning and disappointment with Hannibal for killing the aslant, will moved to sit on the desk close to Hannibal, takes a closer look at the wounds and sighs.

“I feel like I’ve…dragged you into my world” Will is regretful as we looks at the far wall.

“I got here on my own… But I appreciate the company.” Hannibal tells Will with sincerity.

Will can’t hide the smile it brings to his face, even among the chaos and decay. **_  
_**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I want to first start of by saying thank you for your support, secondly I hope this did't seem like a retelling of the show too much. I wanted this to kinda be Will and Hannibal's life behind the scenes of the show, Especially because Courtney has nothing to do with the FBI or crimes. However I wanted you to also know what was going on plot wise. Its hard to balance this but I hope I did okay. Also there will be Hannibal/OC soon. I Have a specific part I want him to meet Courtney at and it should be coming soon. I wrote so much that I had to split this chapter in two. Anyway I hope you enjoy. Feedback is appreciated!! Also yes I stole the Alana scenes because they fit with the story so I hope that's not too annoying haha!


	4. Spekulaas

Chapter three: Spekulaas

When Will sees a totem pole of bodies on the beach, he’s quick to pop one of his med's dry and when Jack asks him to recreate the murder in his head he thinks nothing of it. But when he opens his eyes and he’s not where he was, he’s in Hannibal’s office. He feels sick.

They realize he’s losing time.

He asks Jack if he seems different, he doesn’t say anything useful.

It’s only when Will finds himself in his lecture hall taking to his students that he starts to understand.

Alana calls to him in the middle of his lecture, she wants to talk he can tell she hesitates. “I don’t want to interrupt if you’re rehearsing or…” She trails off as she stands waiting in the hall way for his response. Will feels like he wants to cry as he looks around, the room is empty. There are no students listening to him. He takes a stuttering breath “Uh…no no no. It’s Ok, its ok” he tells her encouragingly. She walks in with a smile “Very moody in here” she smirks and Will pauses to get his bearings. “Uh… well, that’s me all over” he responds with a hollow chuckle. “Come on it.” He waves, pulling his glasses of to wipe his eyes.

She walks further in stops a fair distance from will, her hands clasped in front of her. “I regretted leaving your house the other night.”

“Regretted.” Will grunts placing his glasses on his desk, blinking back his exhaustion.

“I shouldn’t have left you alone with her, you shouldn't see each other. You were tempted. But it’s also your decision. You were right. If you get into a relationship with her it’s none of my business” She supplies walking closer.

Will processes the information and blinks confused. “Ya telling me that to confuse me?” Will whispers looking up to study her reaction.

“No, I’m telling you that to be honest. I was worried about you, but I also said those things because Jack ask me to check on it.” Alana tells him, Will huffs a small knowing laugh and nods. “You’re my friend will, I care about you which is why if I didn’t warn you it would be…reckless.”

“Why?” Will chuckles, he already knows, but wants to hear it from her lips. From someone’s lips. “Why?” he asks again.

“Because I think you’re unstable.” Alana doesn’t pull punches.

Will takes a shaky breath, he feels relieved but also scared that he’s not the only one who sees it. He feels like everyone else was dancing around the issue. He respects Alana’s friendship more than ever in that moment.

“Until that changes, she should only be your friend.” She says arms crossing as she looks hard at him.

Will nods “Thank you for not lying.”

Alana watches him twitch lightly before asking “Do you feel unstable?” her eyes shift from hard steely blue to something soft. She knows he’s unstable but she wonders if he knows.

“Mm-hm” Will answers trying to keep his face emotionless, but his eyes tell her all she needs to know as a sad smile breaks out on his face. Alana is quick to envelop him in a hug. It wasn’t the same warmth he felt from Courtney’s soft touch, but it was enough to make him feel calm as he closes his eyes. Again he wishes he could feel like this all the time, but he knows he never will.

***

It’s been a month since Courtney has seen or heard from Will Graham, she starts to wonder if she will ever see him again. Before their relationship got tangled up with feelings and the…kissing…she would see him once or twice a week, sometimes more. But she understands, he need some space to think, she just wish she would hear from him.

It’s Saturday so she’s at the bait shop instead of the grocery store and she hasn’t seen a soul for hours. She didn’t even have blue as company tonight as he had a particularly long visit with the vet and was mopping. She tried to get him to come with her but he wouldn’t budge so she decided to give him a break. He deserved it, after all he was her best employee. Thus she sits bored at the counter eyes moving around the store assessing what to improve and waiting for the time to pass. Usually she’d kept the store open till 9pm but as it her eyes darted to the clock on the counter for the seventh time within a minute and it still read 8:23pm she decided to start packing things up. No one would mind anyway.

Hopping from her perch, Courtney opens her dinky register and collects what little funds she has and places them in her wallet. After that’s done, she grabs a broom to start sweeping though it feels like a lost cause. She’s turning back to the counter when she hears the bell chime. Courtney stops and turns to try and see who it is, but with the isles it’s hard to, she think that maybe she should change the layout.

“Hello, we’re about to close but I’ll stay open for a little bit” Courtney calls as she moves to clean the counter next. The customer doesn’t say anything to her so she continues to work on cleaning around her work area and checks her inventory. It’s silent except to her light humming. As she busied herself with her tasks she doesn’t hear when a man steps forward quietly behind her. He’s wearing all black from the hood of his jacket to the bottoms of his shoes and in his hands glints a blade. She’s oblivious till he steps wrong and causes one of the floor boards to creek. She starts to turn but he’s already on her.

His arms come around to hold the cool edge of the knife to her neck and she can’t help the terrified gasp she makes. The man chuckles at her distress and presses his nose to her hair and breaths in deeply. It sends a jolt of terror down her spine. “A-all the money is in my bag.” She whimpers throat bobbing as she swallows and feels the blade press just a bit tighter at her words, it nicks her skin. “You really think I’m here for the money?” he questions with a seer in his tone. Courtney vaguely recognizes the voice from the group of men that liked to loiter around the shop. She doesn’t answer the question, she doesn’t need to.

Courtney shakes as she tries to remember any defensive strategies that she’s looked up when she was feeling particularly weirded out by the group. She remembers to keep her arms close to her sides. “You’re a pretty little thing all alone out here.” The man mutters into her ear and she can feel his hot breath on her, she tries not to sob. Closing her eyes she moves her arms up slowly as if to surrender “P-please” She whispers and he laughs “I-I’ll do whatever you want.” She starts as a ploy he seems to love the begging, and she tastes bile in her mouth. “Oh whatever I want hmm?” He questions sliding the blade down a bit, it catches on the collar of her shirt. She wants to scream, but knows no one would hear her. She’s all alone and wonders what her life would have been like if she never came to the shop.

But this is her life, she can’t rewind what led to this, she can only survive.

He starts to talk again as she prepares herself to try and protect her neck. “You’ll do everything I want huh? Yes you will-Shit!” He grunts as her hands move from the surrendering position to his wrist and yanks hard. He’s stronger than her but she’s able to move his arm down and trap it to her chest. He can’t move it. They struggle as she hold him tightly, and kicks back on the leg closest to her, widening his stance. It gives her the opportunity to twist her body to try to face him and bring his own arm down to stab himself. She’s successful as it slices clean into his leg. She pulls away from him and starts to try and run to the door. She just hoped she could make it to the car, she _needed_ to make it.

As she runs her hand flies to grab at her hunting knife that is holstered on her hip and holds it with a tight grip. She gets half way to the door when she feels his hand grab her hair and yank her back. She’s crumbling to the floor as her head bashes into the hard wood, but she focuses on keeping a tight grip on her knife. It’s the only defense she has. The pain from the fall is blossoming behind her eyes as the man moves on top of her. His face twists into something demonic, all snarling teeth and wide dark eyes. He screams at her as he punches her jaw hard and the pain sears its way across her face. She grunts when she’s hit, tastes the blood that pools in her mouth, gritty and foul against her teeth. But before she can spit it out he puts his hand around her throat. She wonders vaguely if she will die here like her grandfather.

Something in her snaps to attention and she grips the hinting knife in her hand harder. In a quick movement her arm flies up to stab him in the side as he’s chokes her. He doesn’t let go, hands squeezing the life from her lungs still, as if he doesn’t even realize he’s been stabbed. Her brain understands why, adrenaline.

She pulls the blade out and hot blood pores on to her but she doesn’t falter and stabs again twisting it and this times. He groans at that but doesn’t let go. In a panic she again pulls the blade out and goes again and again and again. Doesn’t stop stabbing until his hands move from her throat to cover the fresh bleeding wounds. She watches as blood gushes from him hot and thick and all she sees is red.

Red.

_Red._

**RED**.

Yanking the blade from his side one more time, she pushes him off, he doesn’t put up much fight, still clutching his side and stomach. She slides away shakily. She doesn’t take her eyes off him as she starts to crawl away by kicking her feet and pushing against the floor with her arms. When her back hits her desk she jumps and lets out a yelp that sounds is rich with fear echoing along the walls of the shack. She hears the man groaning weakly where she left him but the sound is enough to make her pull the knife up in defense.

She starts hyperventilating as she notices her hands stained with crimson and tears prickle her eyes. “O-oh god. Oh god.” She rasps and places her hands on the wood floor trying to steady herself. Her thoughts jump to the possibility of others outside and fumbles to reach into her pockets she pulls out her phone. She’s taking a staggering breath as her bloody fingers dial, staining the numbers.

“Hello 911 what is your emergency?” A woman answers and Courtney stumbles as she breaths “I-I was just attacked by a man, he was trying to strangle me. I-he’s bleeding out.” She whimpers. She’s stuttering mess as they ask for her to calm down and ask her for location. She’s crying as she tells them that she thinks there may be more. When she gets off the phone with them dials the only other person she can think of.

***

Will is in session with Hannibal, they discuss many things that pertain to Abigail Hobbs. The fact that she’s teaming up with Freddie Lounds for a book, that her attacker Nicholas Boyle was found frozen in the snow and that Jack had decided to show Abigail his body. They were discussing Abigail's possible break because of Jack and what they could do to help when Will’s phone rings and the sound startles him.

Hannibal gives him a disapproving look “I don’t allow personal calls during sessions.” His tone is clipped as he watches Will’s face twists in annoyance at the interruption as well. “Yeah well, unfortunately Jack insists I keep on in case something comes up.” Will supplies. Hannibal nods his head in reluctant acceptance as Will reaches into his pocket. He’s surprised by who’s calling him and without hesitation answers.

“Hello?” Will questions confusion tinting his tone, but when he hears ragged breaths and sobbing he shifts from his comfortable position in his chair to rigidity. Hannibal watches with interest at the change. “Will, Will oh god there’s blood everywhere please.” She whimpers like a deranged dog and he can hear her hyperventilating

“Courtney-” Will starts but she’s already starting again “I stabbed him.” She whimpers before continuing, as if only now realizing what she’s done. “O-oh god I stabbed him. I think he’s dead.” She screams and will has to pull the phone away from his ear. Hannibal and Will exchange looks and both make a move for the door.

“Where are you?” Will asks shoving on his coat while Hannibal opens the door.

“The shop, the shop. Please. I don’t know if there are any more.” She whispers and he can tell she’s moving by the harsh scraping of wood.

“Stay where you are. Did you call 911?” He questions, trying to sooth her with his calm tone, it seems to work. But he is not calm, he can already feel himself start to shake as her emotions start to become his. “Ye-yeah I called them.” She swallows audibly and her breathing evens slightly.

“Just. Just please come.” She pleads before the line goes dead.

***

When they make it to the bait shop over an hour later, an ambulance is already parked outside, its lights glare brightly in the night. Will stairs out from the window as they pull up and spots someone sitting on the back of the ambulance a blanket tossed around their shaking shoulders. Even from this distance he knows it’s her from the mess of dark curls and his heart clenches. Turning his head as Hannibal parks Will and thanks him for coming. Hannibal nods in acknowledgement.

As they make their way to the crime scene Jack Crawford stands off to the side of the chaos is if he belongs. He’s always watching from the side lines. Jack stares disapprovingly at Will and Hannibal as they maker there way over to the ambulance. Will wonders why he’s here but he’s sure he’d find out sooner or later.

Courtney jumps at the approaching sound of footsteps, her head is down as she stairs blankly at the ground.

“Courtney” She hears someone whisper but she has no energy to look up as she shakes. Will is careful and moves slowly to sit next to the shaking woman as he calls for her again. Hannibal is watching the two of them, shifts his eyes just to the shaking woman for a moment before addressing the other man. “She’s in shock Will.” Hannibal supplies and moves to pull the blanket tighter around her. The touch causes her to look up frightened and they lock eyes. Hannibal looks into the murky green depths, sees something burning there in the flex of amber begging him to set it free and he swallows. She’s stares right back, caught by the deep brown rich like dark chocolate. There is something she can’t place looming in the darker speckles but they remind her of Will so much that she’s mystified.

Hannibal brakes the short eye contact to look her over and notices the marks from her attack. Her jaw bruised black and purple spanning up to her cheek, hand markings around her throat, and blood crusted at the ends of her lips. She blinks as if she’s snapped out of a trance when he drops his gaze and her lips twitch to try and smile but she still can’t find the energy as she looks away again. “T-thank you.” she whispers and grabs the blanket clutching it for safety. Her hands shake as she does, they are still covered in blood. Hannibal notices.

“Are you alright?” Will asks and she’s startled, not realizing that it was him that next to her. She’s rapidly blinking, scared that he’s not real before fresh tears are coming to her eyes. “Will.” she sobs and leans to give him a hug. He doesn’t know what to do with his hands. He tries to remember how Alana held him. Mimicking the way she put her arms around him. He places his hands around Courtney’s waist and shoulder, holding her tightly. His eyes close for a long minute as she clings to him. He feels his own eyes water as her body molds to his. He doesn’t want to let her go, _never_. But when he hears someone clear their throat his eyes snap open. Jack stands in front of them sternly. Will knows that look and bites back a snarling remark. Jack wants to question her.

Will tries to pull away but her grip is like iron and it breaks his heart. “It’s okay” He whispers into her ear his hand moving to cup the back of her head. He can’t help it, when she whimpers he presses a light kiss to her temple. She shakes a bit more before her arms relax and Will is able to pull away from her. Pulling the blanket tighter to herself she finds herself embarrassed at her display in front of the two strangers. “Sorry.” She sniffles.

Will’s lips twist at the word and he starts to reply but Jack is already demanding attention. “Ms. Roberts. According to your statement this man, Ronald Parks attacked out inside your place of business.” Courtney takes a minute to process the words and nods her head. “Y-yes.” She whispers and cleats her throat.

“He was stabbed with a hunting knife. Gutted.” Jack grunts and Courtney shifts licking her lips and swallowing again. Her mouth is dry from screaming and she blinks back new tears and nods.

“Do you know a girl named Abigail Hobbs?” Jack questions Courtney blinks as she recognizes the name. “I-I’ve heard the name in the news before. S-she was the shrike’s daughter.” Courtney recollects before she looks up at Jack confused. “Why?” She asks shakily but he doesn’t give her the time of day, moving on to his next question.

“Have you heard of a man named Nicholas Boyle?” Jack watches her closely as he asks. Courtney blinks and tries to think if she had ever heard of that name, but Will is already scoffing. “Really Jack are you that desperate?” Will growls defensively standing up protectively in front of Courtney. He finds this questioning absolutely ridiculous.

“The murder was the same. An attack and a gutting, it’s too similar to be coincidence.” Jack booms and disregards Will to ask his newest question. “Would you be willing to identify his body?”

“I-I-I” Courtney starts hyperventilating again and when she closes her eyes she sees the man who attacked her. She sees the blood pouring from his side.

“I believe Ms. Roberts has suffered enough for tonight” Hannibal chides and places a hand on her shoulder. It’s nice but her eyes don’t open and the tears don’t stop. Jack release air out of his nose and nods once before walking away. Will is seething as he watches Jacks retreating back, watches him as he converses with a cop. Once Will is sure Jack has no intention of coming back, he’s back at Courtney’s side. He gets a better look at Courtney, he regrets it instantly. Seeing the hand marks on her neck makes him swallow hard.

“First I pull Hannibal into my world and now you.” Will scoffs shaking his head.

Hannibal tilts his head as if analyzing the words, looks at the two of them and says “Tragedy comes in three’s”

They both look up at Hannibal, Will is protesting with a breath but it sounds more like a laugh and Courtney’s lips twitch even as tears fall anew. It’s quiet between them as they look at each other.

“C-can I go home?” Courtney asks solemnly, the first to break the silence. Will leans down and hugs her again.

“Yes. We’ll take you.” Will answers as he looks over at Hannibal.

Hannibal nods.

That night Courtney couldn’t sleep. Her ears listened hypersensitive to the sounds about the house. Every creak, every gust of wind, and every movement set her off. She clutched her knife to her chest that night and never slept. It wasn’t easier even as she dressed for work and drives to the grocery store for her shift. When she get there her manager had pulled her aside. Says how sorry she is that something happened to her, that if she needed anything to let her know. She feels empty.

***

Days later she finds herself driving to Will’s house in a blur. He wasn’t home but she doesn’t care. She sits on his porch for hours in the cold just watching the wind blow the small dead trees around the yard. The silence was nice. She really didn’t know what to do now. It was starting to get dark when his Volvo pulls into the driveway and he rushes out when he sees her.

“Courtney.” He gasps as he rushes up his steps, she doesn’t move. She’s too numb. Will looks her over, can tell by the way she’s shivering that she’s been outside for a long time.

“Let’s get you inside.” He sighs.

Courtney sits on one of his chairs quietly while Will moves about the kitchen. He comes back with a blanket and a warm drink. The sweet smell of coco fills her lungs and for the first time since her attack genuinely smiles. She takes a tentative sip as Will sits down.

“Have you eaten?” Will starts, watching her closely.

“No.” She states after a long pause.

“I’ll bring you something.” Will nods and moves to leave but Courtney stops him with a hand to his leg. He blinks before settling back down, she doesn’t move her hand. He lets it stay there.

“I-I don’t know what to do Will. I- I can’t go back to the bait shop, I tried to but… I’m s-scared, scared to sleep. To do anything.” Courtney chokes out and closes her eyes, her hand clutches the fabric of his pants tightly. Even in the seconds she has her eyes closed the image of the man, of Ronald Parks, is splayed out on the floor in her mind. Blood rushes like a river around her, she can hear it in her ears and taste it in her mouth. Shaking it away she bites her lip. “I don’t want to be alone.” She whispers on a held breath.

Will blinks at her and swallows. “Stay here. You can take care of the dogs.” Will offers with a smile and Courtney lets out a broken laugh. “You know I can’t” He does. Things will get complicated. He already desperately wanted to be with her. He’s glad and disappointed at her levelheadedness.

“W-well, I could ask Hannibal to help you with the…with your sleep.” Will trails off and watches as she wets her lips.

“Hannibal?” Courtney asks remembering the name vaguely.

“Ah right. He didn’t get a chance to really introduce himself. The man who was with me when we…” He stops when she sucks in a breath. “He’s the psychiatrist I’ve told you about.”

“The mandated one?” She questions and he nods “Yes.”

“Will, I can’t afford something like that.” She tells him pulling her hand away starting to huddle into herself.

“Just.” Will starts its louder then he expects and doesn’t miss the flinch it causes her. “I’ll ask him.” it’s softer this time as he grabs her hand firmly, their eyes meet and he can see her distress. He wants to be the one to sooth her but he doesn’t think he would be much help at the moment. Not how he is. Hannibal would be.

***

When Dr. Hannibal Lecter invites her into his home, she’s amazed at the grandiosity of it and immediately feels out of place. He is the picture of elegance as he greets her at the door, “Thank you for meeting me Dr. Lecter.” She says softly as he shows her in. He is dressed in a remarkably tailored button up that is rolled up to his elbows and an intricate patterned vest that is obviously part of an expensive suit. His tie is neat and sits perfectly at the center of his collar, even when he’s casual he’s dressed to impress. She looks down at herself. She’s wearing dark black jeans, an oversize royal blue sweater and boots she got at the local thrift shop. If she hadn’t felt like a prudent child before, she would have at this moment.

“Please you are a guest in my home, Call me Hannibal” Welcomes her, taking her forest green coat from her and hangs it by the door. “A-alright. Hannibal” She nods. “I hope I’m not disturbing you and please I hope you don’t feel obligated to take me in because of Will.” She sighs.

“I chose to take you on as an unofficial patient because I have experienced something similar to you recently. I was attacked at my place of work.” Is his answer. She understands its meaning. He knows what it’s like to have something you worked so hard for ripped from you. She nods her head.

“ I’m extremely grateful. Thank you very much. If ever you get too busy or decide you would like to end our arrangement I- please let me know” She continues smiling tightly up at him. Hannibal gives her a nod and smooths out his vest.

“Well. I was just preparing dinner, please join me in the kitchen.” Hannibal tells her and she understands then why he's dressed down. She follows obediently

“What are you making?” She questions curiously as she walks behind him.

“You will be making Coeur d'agneau farci braise in a delicate wine sauce garnished with lemon and fresh vegetables. As part of your therapy.” Hannibal supplies and asked her to pull up the sleeves of her royal blue sweater.

“O-oh” She says confused as he moves to the fridge, she goes to wash her hands. She wondered if this was actually therapy as she scrubs under her nails and the tops of her hands. When she turns back, she sees an organ she didn’t expect to be laying on the cutting board and her eyes go wide “Um, a-a-a heart?" she stutters and looks over at Hannibal for clarification

"Best place to start when dealing with problems" He offers with a flourish.

"Yes. But I didn’t think you would mean it literally" she mutters quietly. Hannibal moves to face Courtney and looks into her eyes. He still sees something there dark and wanting and theorizes that it probably wasn’t there till she killed someone. Still it’s begging for him to release it, to mold her into something, he finds that he is intrigued.

"This lamb gives its life to give you life.” Hannibal eyes her, the deep brown pools are almost black like a predators. He’s stalking his prey.   
“Would you refuse its gift?" he finishes waiting for her reply, not letting the eye contact go.

"N-No I-I wouldn't" She nods and moves to take her place at the head counter. Hannibal gives her room to settle but moves behind her and she takes a moment to calm herself. It reminds her of her attack, it reminds her of stabbing Ronald. She shakes but doesn’t ask him to move and Hannibal stares down at her a small expression of delight twinkling in his eyes.

Hannibal guides her to touch the muscle and she finds it cold, slimy, and slightly hard. But she finds it still feels like any other red meat. Her shoulders relax as he tells her to start clearing the cavity for stuffing that he’s prepared. She’s doing okay as she pulls some of the connecting tissue like he tells her to. There is some blood that gets on her fingers, it's cold, not like the hot gush she felt burn into her skin. But it still makes her pause.

“You’ve done this before.” Hannibal states rather than questions, watching her hands intently as she stares at them for a long moment, calculating what to say, "...you look good with blood on your hands."  
  
A memory of fishing with her pop bobs surface of her consciousness, like a fishing lure just cast. She can almost feel the cool water moving against her legs in soft waves, and see the glimmer of the sun reflecting off the waters surface . She can remember things in short snippets. The pulling of a line, reeling in the fish with under the burning heat of the sun, her pop pulling it off the hook, and watching in mild horror and mild fascination as her pop beats the still breathing fish in the skill.   
  


“I didn’t kill, my Pop did.” She whispers to herself and moves to wipe her hands on the apron Hannibal had given her, before making sure the first cavity was clear.

“Will tells me you fish.” Hannibal starts moving to stand beside her and watch her with a keen eye.

“Used to” she mutters with a bittersweet expression, the fond memories of the far away summers still playing in her head.

“You would clean and gut fish, what is the difference here?” Hannibal asks eyes watching her expression twist into uncertainty “I guess it’s a bit more jarring when it’s something more…human?”

  
Hannibal stops for a moment watching her eyes flicker that darkness calling to him again before guiding her to continue with the food preparation. 

“So you would kill and gut a fish for food yet not a lamb?” Hannibal questions as he 

“I didn’t kill them, my Pop did.” She whispers and moves to wipe her hands on the apron Hannibal had given her, before making sure the first cavity was clear.

"Well you certainly know how to wield a hunting knife." Hannibal remarks

Her hands stop their work, she’s shaking. "I'm not normally a butcher" she says quietly as he steady’s her with a hand on her shoulder.

"Normally. Yet you gutted a man on instinct" He says not unkind but as if it were fact. It was. Courtney swallows blinking back tears and feels Hannibal’s other hand on her shoulder. He had pushed too hard.

Pausing and letting her breathe for a moment he leans toward her ear, he could smell her before, but now that he’s closer his mouth waters. "You may sol chef tonight. But I expect a head chef in the future." He hums like a buzzing bee pollinating a new flower. She nods.

He guides her to a separate bench after she washes her hand again and asks her to slice some cheese for some salads. The silence between them turns peaceful after that. The air shifts and it almost feels natural to be cooking with him in some weird way. _Maybe this was a form of therapy_ She thinks. She felt slightly better already, at least while cutting the vegetables. She tries to find something to talk about but her mind draws a blank so she asks about her task.

"Do you normally have a sol chef" she wonders, as she slices the lettuce, its crisp against her fingers, leaves soft like silk. If he cooked like this every day he must have someone help him.

"No. Only on the occasion Dr. Bloom comes to my home" he answers glancing up from the heart he’s preparing.

"Oh, Dr. Alana Bloom?" She asks remembering the beautiful woman at Wills home.

"Yes." He says offhandedly as he continues his work.

"Are you two an…item?" She wonders out loud before she even realizes it and covers her mouth looking down ashamed.

"No. But you are not the first to ask" He answers fishing out more of the tendons that she didn’t grab.

"Ah" she sighs lightly.

"You ask because Will Graham." It’s not a question but she looks at him and nods weakly.

A smirk is pulling at his lips as he finishes cleaning the cavity for the stuffing. “Jealousy is not becoming of you Ms. Roberts"

"I don't think jealousy is becoming of anyone. Except for poets." She chuckles as she stops cutting to look over at him.

Hannibal gives her a small nod of his head. "They bear their soul for all to see. Speak words of love, sorrow and betrayal. I’ve been told it’s nice for people to see you. They must agree."

"You should be a poet, you always speak so eloquently." Courtney smiles Hannibal pauses and looks over at her

"In a way I am." He answers and she looks towards him with a quirk of her brow. "How so?"

"Poets pluck on the stings of your heart with words. I pluck on the stings of the mind with mine. Finding what is ailing you and sooth you with a serenade."

"Huh, I guess I never thought of therapy that way" she looks down at the vegetables as if she were given a secret.

“Not many people do.” He notes.

_She finds that heart is slightly tough, but with the right hands, it melts in your mouth._

***

Hannibal and Will sit opposite each other in Hannibal’s office one looks relaxed, the other on edge. Will is the first to speak up, hands moving on the arm rests as he talks “I can feel my nerves clicking like, uh roller coaster cogs, pulling up to the inevitable long plunge.”

“Quick sounds. Quickly ended.” Hannibal’s tone is even, factual.

“Abigail Hobbs ended Nicholas Boyle. Like a burst balloon.” Even now Will can see Abigail stabbing Nick in his mind. He sees it so clearly, so vividly it’s like he was there. He has to shake it away and focus on something else. So he focus on Hannibal. “She took a life.”

“You’ve taken a life, Courtney has taken a life.” Hannibal states it doesn’t make Will feel any better knowing it.

“Yeah, yeah so have you.” Will breaths

“You’re grieving, Will. Not for the life you have taken, but for the life that was taken from you” Hannibal suspects, and reasons further. “If Abigail could have started over, left the horror of her father behind, so could have you.” Hannibal lets will process what he’s said before continuing “You could untangle yourself from the madness and the murder.”

“We lied for her.” Will feels guilt for doing it. But he still wouldn’t take it back. They had to protect her.

Hannibal gives Will a hard look, eyes cold as steel. “We both know the unreality of taking a life. The people who die when we have no other choice, we know in those moments they are not flesh…but light, and air and color.”

“Isn’t that what it is to be alive?” Will questions a strained smile forming in his confusion

“Do you feel alive Will?” Hannibal wonders, but his tone is flat as he asks. Clinical. The question strikes an exposed nerve “I feel like I’m fading” He admits Hannibal shifts to look closer at will, notices the dark circles and damp skin, he can smell something on him, wonders if he’s guessed what it is correctly. “Have you experienced any further loss of time? Or hallucinations?”

Will hesitates looking away but he can’t deny it. “Y-yeah.”

“I’d like you to draw a clock face. Numbered. Small hand indicating the hour. Large hand the minute.” Hannibal extends his hand waiting for will to take it, he does.

“Why?” Will asks perturbed his face contorting to anger that he tried to settle.

“An exercise. I want you to focus on the present moment, the now. Often as you can, think of where you are and when. Think of who you are.”

Will takes the pen and draws a circle, the pen scrapes harshly against the paper. “It’s 7:16pm.” Will states, annoyed as he angrily writes twelve numbers in the circle he’s created “I’m in Baltimore Maryland.” He draws the short hand at seven “And my Name is Will Graham” he finishes with the long hand. He then places the pen back in the seam and hands it back to Hannibal. “A simple reminder. The handle to reality for you to hold on to.” Hannibal grabs it and his eyes scan the page “and know you’re alive.”

The clock is skewed.

***

It early in the morning when Will is sitting in his home working on a lure. He’s wrapping three feathers with a red string one blue, one green one brown. The colors sooth him in some way he doesn’t understand. When he blinks he’s outside. He doesn’t remember getting dressed. Doesn’t remember leaving his house at all. He looks around and finds that he’s at the front of Courtney’s house. His breaths quicken and looks at his watch. “I-Its 3:27pm. I’m in Wolf Trap Virginia. My name is Will Graham.” He closes his eyes tightly.

He hears the front door open, Courtney stands there her dark curls twisting beautifully along her face. Her jaw is still a bit swollen from her attack but the bruise is now a yellow-green. It looks sickly. He can’t stop staring at it as his body shakes.

“Will?” Courtney gasps at the sight of him, standing like a corpse at her doorstep. She and moves closer “Will, are you okay?” She questions cupping his cheek. His eyes dart to hers at the warmth she provides

“N-no.” It’s sharp and high pitched almost like a wail. Courtney moves her hand to his forehead and he’s burning up. “Come inside” She pulls him with her, he follows willingly. The house she lives in is old, he can tell from the way it’s crumbling in places and cracks in others. Its big, two story and messy. He can tell that she’s trying to clean it up, but it’s a lot of work for one person. No wonder she liked coming to his house.

“I’ve never been inside.” Will starts as she leads him to a sitting room. It’s small, mostly due to the clutter, there is a one reclining chair and a love seat. A small tv sits in the corner of the room and there is ample open space to walk. “Mm, mostly because I’m embarrassed” She sighs and guides him to the love seat, sits him down and pulls a blanket that was slung over the top over him. Blue, happy to see him, wags his tail and brings him a stuffed toy for him to throw. Will’s tired but can’t say no to a dog. So he throws it around a few times lazily. Courtney settles down next to him on the love seat and they sit silently together.

“I missed you.” Courtney whispers as she presses her head to his shoulder. He chuckles leaning his head atop hers. He breaths in her in with a large intake of air and hopes this isn’t a hallucination. He can pretend here like this that he was normal, that he was fine. But not forever.

“What’s happening to you Will?” She whispers after a long moment and moves to look at him her hands falling to his chest and up rubbing his shoulder.

“I-I’m losing time. I’m one place, blink and I’m in another.” He tells her swallowing thickly, eyes darting around him and every few minutes he’s checking his watch.

“Is that why you’re here?” She wonders as he settles a bit more the longer he sits.

“Um…yeah.” He nods wiping his eyes with the palm of his hand

“Where were you before?” Her calming voice is able to put him slightly at ease but he still feels out of control.

“I was at home.”

Courtney nods and watches as his eyes close and he leans his head back on the love seat, as if he’s finally has a chance to rest. “Did you sleep okay?” She wonders and by the expression his face twists into she knows he didn’t. A sad chuckle bubbles out of him. “I-I felt like a wave was crashing over me. Like I was drowning.” He swallows grabbing her hand on his shoulder and squeezes. “Like I was becoming part of it.” He sounds broken.

“Have you told Dr. Lecter?” She asks with a small voice moving the other hand up to cup his cheek.

“Yes, I got a brain scan but. Uh. They didn’t find anything.” He groans and whispers shakily

“It happened at work... I was at home but then I wasn't, I was over a woman's dead with a knife.” He admits.

Courtney gasps and moves to look at him, his eyes open and are glassy in is tiredness but he smiles at her worry. “I ended up contaminating the crime scene. Felt like I did it. But I know I didn't.” He sighs and lifts his head back up blinking away the sheen in his eyes. Courtney blinks and nods her head.

“You told me that you’re able to empathize with the killers. Think like them but…do you see yourself as the killer?” She asks gently moving so her hands are in her lap. He can lie to Jack, tell him he just got lost in the reconstruction. But he can’t…won’t lie to her.

“Yes...Does that scare you?” Will wonders turning to watch her twist her hands.

“No. It worries me. You’re put yourself at risk. I care about you.” She admits a small blush crawls from her cheeks down to her neck. He watches with a soft expression.

“I’m thinking of going back to the crime scene” He admits running a hand though his hair.

“When?”

“Tonight” It sounds like he wouldn’t change his mind even if she asked him to, so she doesn’t instead she says “I-I’ll go with you”

“You can’t.” The tells her with a shake of the head

“Will.” She pleads. He finds he really wants to say yes but forces himself to say what he needs to.

“No.” He scolds her, she feels her hands clench in anger, but she knows he’s right. She can’t follow him, she’s not a cop or FBI. It would be suspicious if she was with him. It would get not only her in trouble but him. Still she wishes she could be more useful. They sit in silence.

“You shouldn’t go alone.” She whispers

“I know.”

But they both know he will. 

***

What he finds in the house, under the bed, is a sick, deranged girl just wanting to live. She can’t see faces and thinks she’s dead, Will tries to tell her she’s alive. He doesn’t know if he’s reached her. He also doesn’t know if she was real, he hopes it is. For his own sanity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I had some trouble writing this one, mostly because I didn't feel like it flowed very well, but let me know. Also Hannibal and Courtney Finally met!! How do you think it went? Was the Dialogue okay? Hopefully it wasn't too short. Please let me know. Comments are always welcome and appreciated! 
> 
> EDIT: I re-did the dialogue for Hannibal and Courtney at his house since I felt like it didn't fit but I like it so much better


	5. Baeckeoffe

Chapter Four: Baeckeoffe

They learn that the girl Will finds under the bed is Georgia Madchen and he’s is pretty sure she suffers from Cotard’s syndrome after talking with Hannibal. But they can’t be sure until they find her.

Will and Jack interview her mother, find out she had always suffered from mental illness and that Georgia had always felt dead inside. Will finds that he can relate to her, understands what it’s like not being able to accept the reality around him.

***

The first time Courtney meets Abigail Hobbs it’s in Hannibal’s kitchen as the young girl slices vegetables.

Courtney looks over at Hannibal questioningly as they enter the kitchen before settling her eyes on the girl. Abigail sets the knife down with a small forced smile, something about it makes Courtney swallow. There was constant debate concerning Abigail Hobbs. Some argued that she helped her father hunt and kill girls. Others believed that she participated knowingly in the cannibalistic practices her father committed. It was always the same. A psychopathic deranged daughter who found delight in eat people with her dear old dad.

That’s not who she meets.

What Courtney sees is in front of her is not a killer. She finds is a damaged girl trying to find her way in the world but like a leave caught in a hurricane there is no soft landing only an everlasting whirlwind. Abigail Hobbs is a survivor, and Courtney sees a reflection of herself in those sad, worried blue eyes. It’s a startling realization but it prompts Courtney to move forward. She greets Abigail with an awkward smile. “Hello, I’m Courtney nice to meet you.” She extends her hand for a shake. Abigail looks up at Hannibal before she takes Courtney’s hand.

“Abigail” she says wearily grip light, eyes still flickering between Hannibal and Courtney as if confused.

“So what are we making today?” Courtney asks moving towards a rack of aprons and putting one on, she looks back at Abigail for an answer.

“Uh, B-Baeckeoffe?” Abigail says in a questioning tone before turning back to Hannibal, who nods his head in approval.

Courtney who is making her way towards the “chef’s” table confidently, pauses to look at Abigail with a mortified face, shoulders sagging and confidence deflating. “Oh gosh what is that?” she questions

“I have no idea.” Abigail shakes her head and moves to continue cutting the vegetables. Hannibal watches the girl’s as they continue to converse with one another, he finds he’s very fond of it.

“Baeckeoffe is a dish inspired from the Hamin, an Hebraic traditional dish of Shabbat. The women would prepare this dish on Saturday evening and leave it with the baker to cook on Sunday while they attended Lutheran church services.” Hannibal tells the two as he moves about the kitchen grabbing a bottle of red wine and a fair bit of meat from the fridge before setting it on the counter. “The baker would take dough and form it into a rope to line the rim of a large casserole dish, then place the lid upon it for a tight seal. Part of the ritual is breaking the crust formed by the rope of dough.” Hannibal finishes and watches as Courtney picks up the red wine bottle, turning it over in her hands. “I-I’ve never cooked with alcohol before is it difficult?” she asks setting it back down.

“Not really” Abigail answers moving from her post as sous chef to join the two. "I've done it before" 

“Oh perfect, you’ll help me then Abigail?” Courtney questions with a bright hopeful smile, Abigail wonders if she knows who she is, who her father was with a smile like that.

“Sure” Abigail agrees quietly with a nod.

“Is that alright Hannibal, I mean it would be more traditional if we did it.” Courtney jokes with a light laugh as she stairs up at him.

Hannibal blinks at the question before nodding, a small smile tugging at his lips “With my supervision of course” He adds.

“Of course” She grins and turns to smile over at Abigail she smiles back less hesitantly this time.

They have a really fun time cooking together, almost like a small family. It makes Courtney wish her family was this close. It also makes her wish Will was with them.

***

Will lets he head fall back on the passenger seat of Courtney’s car, the plush interior cushioning the fall as he lets his eyes close. Recently he hasn’t been feeling like himself, it scares him. So, he asks Courtney to drive him to the neurologist for more tests. He wants to rule everything out before he even broaches the idea of being mentally ill.

“I’m glad you called me” Courtney tells him, eyes still on the road. From her tone he can tell she’s smiling.

“Mm.” Will hums back taking a deep breath before opening his eyes and sitting back up.

“I want to be useful to you…helpful” She supplies glancing over as he moves. Adjusting his glasses he shakes his head, a small smile creeping at the edges of his lips. “I –I hope it’s not suffocating.” She sighs, recalling the tense conversation they had in her sitting room.

“If it’s you doing it, I don’t mind.” He jokes and chuckles as she smacks him lightly on the arm

“Seriously, Will!” She laughs “I hope I’m not overbearing, were not…were friends so I just want to make sure I’m not overstepping my bounds and making things awkward. I know you’re stressed and need-” He cuts off her rambling with a hand on her thigh, she jumps at the contact and takes a quick glance over at him.

“There are plenty of things suffocating me, you are not one of them” He holds her eyes for a second before she turns back to the road.

“Good. Okay.” She nods and bites her lip lightly as he pulls his hand back and off her, she misses it as soon as it leaves.

“What about you?” Will wonders as he stares out the passenger window watching the as the lights of other cars pass by.

“What about me?” Courtney questions as if she never thought about him asking.

“Your mental stability. We already know I’m crazy but you…”He trails off sarcastically, short and clipped

“You’re not crazy Will.” Courtney is stern as she says it

“Yeah well, others beg to differ” Will tells her bitterly with a shake of his head

“The only others are people like Freddie Lounds and I really don’t care what they have to say.”

“You should” his tone is weak, but she doesn’t let it slide, not this time.

With a scoff she rolls her eyes “You may push other people away with this crap, but sorry to tell ya, you’re stuck with me.” She grumbles and Will smirks with mirth as he watches her face contort in mild anger for a second.

“But, to answer your question after the rude interruption” She gives him a side eye before continuing “I’m fine. Dr. Lecter is interesting. It feels like I’m taking cooking lessons rather than going to therapy but…it’s nice.” She smiles tucking some hair behind her ear and out of her face. “I met Abigail Hobbs too, she was very sweet.” As the words leave her lips Will’s head snaps towards her in confusion.

“You met Abigail?” he asks with disbelief and when she smiles and nods her head he looks away perturbed.

“Mmhm. We made Baeckeoffe together, it was fun” she laughs before continuing. “She’s a nice girl.” Courtney sighs.

Will stays quiet and takes note to ask Hannibal about this.

“She is. I want to protect her.” Will admits and they share a brief look of understanding before Courtney is looking back at the road.

“Well I’m glad he's helping you, no matter how unorthodox Hannibal’s methods are.” Will says offhandedly with a simple hand gesture signifying so.

“It’s helping somewhat, I still have dreams. They…”She trails off and doesn’t continue. He doesn’t push.

After a few minutes of tense silence Will huffs a breath of amusement as he looks out to towards the road “Well aren’t we just two rays of sunshine”

“Mm” Courtney agrees. It goes silent for a few minutes as they continue the ride to the office.

***

They both meet Dr. Sutcliffe at the office as they open the doors, the doctor seems surprised at Will’s guest as he reaches for Wills hand. They shake abet tensely.

“Mr. Graham. I didn’t know you would be brining someone with you.” He states eyeing Courtney with a small smile and reaches for her hand as well.

“Oh I’m just the ride.” She laughs and shakes his hand firmly.

“I’m sorry but I’m going to have to ask you to wait in the waiting room, it’s just around the corner.” He informs her and she nods her head

“Perfectly fine! No worries” she smiles

“Well then, Mr. Graham were ready for you.” Dr. Sutcliffe says turning to Will and gesturing for him to follow. Will gives Courtney a glance and a tight lipped smile, she gives him a soft wave before he follows.

“So how are you feeling Will?” Dr, Sutcliffe asks while leading him passed several doors and down a hallway.

“Fine” It was an automatic response that the doctor seems to accept with a nod. The walk into a private room and Will moves to sit on the examination table.

“Well I know you had an MIR a few weeks ago, but I still need you to fill out the form again and remove any watches or jewelry. I’m also assuming no metal recently added internally?” The doctor asks as he hands Will the form. “No”

“Well once you’re done with the form, put on the hospital gown and we’ll get you ready for the MRI okay?” He drones as he places the gown down on the examination table before walking towards the door. “The MRI is across the hall two doors down”

***

Courtney moves around the corner after she watches the two disappear behind a set of doors and finds the small private waiting room. It’s the fanciest waiting room she’s ever seen. The chairs are made of a soft material that shows off how plush they are. They furnished with accenting pillow cushions for extra back support. A few round tables are spread amongst the small space that allow for small gatherings of one or two.

Along the walls are mahogany book cases filled sparsely with reading material and at the far end there is a water dispenser. She tries to touch as little as possible and sets up shop in the corner to wait for Will to come back.

As she waits, she finds that it seems eerily quiet. It’s after hours she knows, but the silence seems to press down on her making her antsy. Trying to settle her mind, she pulls out a book from her purse and begins to read quietly. She thinks she hears the click of a door being opened and pauses to listen closer but when she doesn’t hear any other noise she brushes it off. The second time it happens she moves from her seat and looks out and around the area, but again nothing so she chops it up to an overactive imagination.

In her current state of mind, she could believe that she was hearing things.

***

When Will feels the MRI bed sliding out and isn’t greeted by Dr. Sutcliffe he finds it strange. Getting up slowly and pulling out the ear buds he pauses to glance around to see if the doctor were in the room. He finds nothing. Deciding to see for himself Will walks towards the connected room where all the data would be. It’s empty just like the MRI room. So Will looks out into the hall way and with no sign of the doctor, Will decides to get dressed thinking that maybe the doctor was discussing the results with Courtney. He hoped not.

After getting dressed Will follows the hallway down towards the exit but spots something peculiar on Dr. Sutcliffe’s office door handle. It looks like blood. Will looks down towards his jacket and takes it in his hands and reaches to open the door. What he finds is the doctor leaning back in his chair and Will is hopeful that doctor’s just asleep even though his gut is telling him that he isn’t.

“Dr. Sutcliffe?” Will calls stepping into the office cautiously As Will walks forward he can see that the doctors face is split at the seams of his mouth, his upper jaw exposed garishly. It looked like a botched bisection. The cuts between the two halves are jagged and rough telling Will that the tool used was not sharp enough. The upper portion of the face is pulled back so that the man’s gullet is extended. The tongue lolls forward with the rest of his body a pair of surgical scissors off to the side of the desk.

He just wanted to know what was wrong with him, but it’s never that easy is it? Instead he ends up with another crime scene and no answers to his problems.

Will’s immediate reaction is to call Jack Crawford as he goes to make sure that Courtney is safe.

“Courtney!” Will calls as he makes his way towards the waiting room, a bit frantically. Courtney jumps up and dashes at the sound of his voice and is peaking her head out as he rushes towards the door.

“Will?” She calls as his eyes look her over ear pressed to a phone.

“You okay?” He asks her panicked

“Yes Will I’m fine, what’s wrong?” She questions and he starts to say something but puts his hand up to signal to wait, pressing his phone closer to his ear.

“Jack. You need to come to Noble Hills Heath Care Center, in Baltimore there’s been a murder.”

***

Will and Courtney sit in Dr. Sutcliffe’s office as Beverly Katz checks them for blood spatter. Courtney keeps her eyes downcast and as she looks anywhere but at the body in the room. She’s never seen something to horrifying and swallows back bile, she could understand why Will would be having problems looking.

When Will has said there was a murder Courtney had followed him back to the office because some sick part of her was curious. Wanted to see what Will saw, now that she did, she really didn’t know how to processes it.

“You’re clean, you’re both clean.” Beverly states Courtney grabs Wills hand and squeezes still avoiding looking around, he doesn’t squeeze back. Will isn’t convinced it wasn’t him so Beverly continues leaning into try and catch wills eyes, he purposely avoids them. “You couldn’t have done this without getting something on you, and there’s nothing on you”

“I don’t feel clean.” His tone is even but it’s obvious that he is distressed.

“The murder weapon has the same sort of diseased or damaged tissues that we found at Beth LeBeau’s house.” Jimmy price speaks up holding said weapon, a pair of bloody surgical scissors up by one of the finger loops.

“What’s this guy got to do with our other victim?” Brian Zeller questions at a loss for the connection.

Will clears his throat “Just me”

“What do you remember, the both of you?” Jack asks with a glance their way.

“I remember coming here, going into the MRI and getting out and uh finding Dr. Sutcliff’s body” Will recounts making sure to replay everything in his mind, just to be sure before he looks up at Jack.

“No confusion?” Jack is sure to clarify eyeing Will closely.

“Well, not that I’m aware of” Will supplies with an exhale of breath.

“You?” He addresses Courtney.

“Um well like Will said we got here, I waited in the waiting room and then Will found the-the body.” Courtney makes the mistake of glancing towards the desk and swallows. Jack gives her a nod and looks back to Will “Was your Dr. Sutcliffe in the habit of seeing patents afterhours when he’s the only one in the office?” He wonders glancing back at the deceased man in question.

Will hesitates trying to find the best words “He was very accommodating”

“Georgia Madchen followed you here and while ticking away in the MRI, she does this to your doctor. Why him?” Jack shrugs looking unconvinced.

“She can’t see faces. Maybe she thought he was me” Will theorizes

“Mm makes sense.” Courtney whispers to herself, but tries to resist saying anything further, she doesn't want to get in the way.

Jack pauses to let Wills words sink in “Alright while we’re at it, why you?” Jack asks entertaining the idea that this killer was after Will.

“I don’t know” Will stands and pulls Courtney with him to leave. He didn't want to sit around anymore, he just wants to go home.

“I have a habit of collecting strays.” He says gesturing to his and Courtney’s hands

“You saw her that night Will.” Courtney supplies quietly "Did you say anything?" she asks. Will nods, turns to jack as he ushers Courtney passed him into the hallway and sighs “I-I told her, tried to tell her. The night I saw her, I tried to tell her, she was alive. Maybe she heard me.” he pauses “Maybe that hadn’t occurred to her in a while.”

The car ride to Wills was silent.

***

When the two made it back to Wills house they were greeted to the sound of hungry dogs.

“Well, the pack seems hungry.” Courtney awkwardly jokes as they walk towards the porch.

Will stops dead in his tracks at her lightheartedness and can’t help but ask. “You just saw a man’s face split open. It was practically bisected with a rusty pair of scissors yet you’re still here. Why?” Will is a mixture of disbelief and confusion.

“I- I don’t know.” Courtney shrugs playing with her fingers.

“No, You know why. Say it.” Will demands

“Why are you? Huh? You know this is messing with your head!” she questions back the warm air flowing in a cloud of smoke from her lips.

“I save lives, I save people.” He angrily chides defensively crossing his arms

“Maybe you should save yourself.” She snaps back and he’s surprised at her ferocity.

“Now you sound like Hannibal.” He accuses

“Good. He’s giving you some decent advice then” She yells with a deep frown, standing her ground.

He’s never seen her this mad, then again she’s never seen him this mad either.

“I already gave up the chance to quit.” He says sternly, there was no going back now.

“Yeah well, I’m doing the same right here, right now. I’m not giving up on you. I’ll be here until you decide to fucking choose yourself.” She seethes genuine anger rolling off her in waves.

“You’re gonna be here a long time.” Will concedes with a sarcastic tone, it ticks her off.

“Fine by me.” She huffs and storms the rest of the way up the porch, goes to open the door but it’s locked. Angrily she crosses her arms and looks over her shoulder at him expectantly. He watches her for a long minute and can’t help but wonder, not for the first time; How the fuck did they end up like this? She was too much, too nice, too pure, too innocent. He didn’t want her corrupted like everything else in his life. But she didn’t seem to be leaving anytime soon, he was irked yet thankful. He really didn’t know which one outweighed the other.

“Hurry up the dogs need food and to go out!” she demands. ** _Definitely irked_**

“Just give me a second.” Will sighs and takes the steps two at a time and opens the screen door. As soon as it opened the dogs rush out like loaded springs all 8 of them. Will and Courtney follow them out to keep watch, they don’t notice a figure behind them slip into the house.

Courtney takes a deep breath as Will sighs outward

“I’m sorry for-”

“I’m sorry I-”

they both say at the same time before the tension snaps and they are chuckling as they watch the dogs run around for a bit.

“You first” Courtney smiles.

“I can’t believe you cursed at me” Will starts

“I curse” she defends, Will gives her a look “ when I’m angry” she finishes with a defeated look and when he starts laughing she pouts “Your supposed to be apologizing not laughing at me” She wines.

“I’m sorry for being a prick.” Will chuckles as the dogs start to crowd his legs looking for attention.

“And I’m sorry I snapped at you. You have a lot going on. Having some annoying woman get on your case is not helping” She sighs

“First you’re not annoying, most of the time” he chides

“Hey!” Courtney exclaims offended as he smirks

“Second. I do enjoy your company it’s just being sociable is not…my thing.” He shrugs like it’s obvious, it is.

“Well I think you are fairly sociable” Courtney contests

“Is that so?” he questions with a skeptical look.

“Very much so” she nods

“You’re only saying that because I kissed you.” he offers as if it was the only explanation, Courtney shakes her head “I’m saying that because it’s true, it’s just a very nice perk that I get…got to kiss you” She corrects

“It’s mostly the dogs though” She adds playfully bumping shoulders with him.

“Ah. Ha.” He mocks “Cute.” He says sarcastically while bumping her back She laughs as she turns to face him

“I know I am” she smiles with a coy wink.

“Conceited” He laughs as he presses his forehead to hers, they both know he shouldn’t

“Never said I wasn’t” she breaths moving closer and placing her hands around his neck, they both know she shouldn’t either.

“Wow, sassy tonight.” He mummers moving to press his nose to hers

“I know I’m sorry.” She laughs

“Don’t be” He’s not sure which one he’s telling her not to be sorry for, the kiss that’s about to happen or the attitude. Either way it doesn’t matter as his lips lock with hers. He has to swallow back the groan at the soft press. He really wants to deepen the kiss, to take her into his arms, drag her into the house lay her on his bed and… but refrains and keeps this to little pecks.

Alana’s words are like chittering bugs in his ears

_It’d be Reckless. You’re unstable. Reckless. Reckless. Unstable._

They pull apart at the urgent sound of hungry dogs barking and they rush to feed them.

That night he finds Georgia Madchen under his bed.

He’s able to calm her.

“It’s midnight, you’re in Wolf Trap Virginia, and you name is Georgia Madchen. You are not alone. We are here together.”

He gains another stray.

***

Will finds himself sitting opposite of Hannibal Lecter in his office but he’s not as calm as he usually is.

“You had her meet Abigail Hobbs.” Will starts with a flat tone, but he’s not fooling anyone. He sounds upset even in his own ears.

“I thought it would be good for her therapy.” Hannibal answers simply as he watches Will become uncomfortable as his eyes linger.

“It’s a bad idea.” Will states opinion as if it were fact and his eyes drift around the room, antsy.

“You’re scared you won’t enjoy her company if she is tainted by the darkness consuming you. Abigail is part of that.” It sounds so simple coming from Hannibal’s lips. Like he knows what Will is thinking and he’s both terrified and relieved.

“Yes” Wills voice is low and quiet, he feels guilty but knows it’s true.

“Do you find your friendship lacking?” Hannibal proceeds to question

“It’s not the friendship that’s lacking.” Will grits out clenching his fists tightly “I’m lacking.”

“You want to be with her but know she will be corrupted by you.” Hannibal concludes Will brings a hand to his face, covering his eyes as he nods

“People are drawn to darkness. Do you believe she is?” Hannibal wonders and when Will has yet to reply, Hannibal knows the answer.

“When darkness reaches out its hand, only the one it reaches out to can make the choice. You can’t choose for her. You must wait and see if she takes the hand or walks away.”

"S-She told me she wouldn’t give up on me.” Will whispers shakily eyes closed against his hand, face scrunched as if he were in pain.

_“Then, perhaps she has already chosen.”_

***

Alana Bloom is not the first to question Dr. Fredric Chilton about his treatment of patients. So when Able Gideon claims to have been coerced into believing he was the Chesapeake Ripper, she believes him. Especially because she knows that he’s not the Ripper, the real Ripper made sure to tell everyone. So she wasn’t surprised that Gideon decided to sue Chilton she just didn’t expect for him to break out.

She probably should have if she’s honest.

***

What Able Gideon leaves in his wake is like a mocking love letter to the Chesapeake Ripper. Organs, still dripping blood hang from tree branches like grotesque Christmas ornaments some wrapped lovingly with bows made from the victim’s veins. As if they were little presents gift wrapped and ready to be pluck like precious fruits. It’s glaringly obvious to Will Graham that Gideon is not the Ripper.

First, the Ripper was calculated in his theatrical approach to murder, elevating it to art.

Second, the Ripper would have taken the organs and let the corpses become the display piece. He treated people like livestock and would make the corpses into show pigs.

Able Gideon is just a confused man who had the foundations of his mind ripped out like old carpet and laid with new unrecognizable fixtures. Gideon was having an identity crisis that much was sure. His tracks lead the FBI back to Baltimore.

***

Will and Alana are selected to talk with Fredric Chilton at his institution, both of them are not pleased.

They are led to his office, its gaudy in its attempt to be intellectual. Heavy volumes that look like they have never been touched. Random knickknacks placed on ledges, tables and his desk. That’s there they find Chilton inspecting one of his books, pretending to read. The minute the two walk in his door, he’s already letting loose a snide remark. “I suppose this is my fault too?” He questions as Alana closes the door lightly for privacy.

Will is the one to speak as he walks further in as he talks “You did dodge a bullet. Gideon’s escape foregoes a trial and a very public humiliation for you.” Will stops in front of Chilton’s desk.

Chilton turns to face him “And now you are hosting a private one.” He concludes with a unimpressed look on his face. Will takes a breath.

“Next you’ll be accusing me of arranging his escape” He says with sarcastic mirth a small smirk forming oh is lips.

Alana steps up next “No one’s making that accusation”

“If were tossing around the blame, Dr. Bloom you’re due your fair share. You planted the idea that I was unethically manipulating Gideon.” Chilton explains with a small amount of amusement.

“Well, according to Gideon you were” Alana presses

“After you told him I was. You thought I was manipulating him, he was manipulating you.” Chilton defends

“You were pushing him” Alana demands with a harsher tone

“He gave me informed consent to treat him.” Chilton pauses gives Alana a blank stare before looking down at his hands. “Said that he was grateful for my help in understating who he is.”

“What did you help him understand?” Will cuts in with a question. Chilton moves to stand and look confidently at Will.

“He was not insane when he killed his wife. Killing her drove him insane. I did not convince him that he was a serial killer. I just reminded him of the fact.”

“Gideon is not the Chesapeake Ripper, although he might have thought he was, under your care, Doctor” Will snaps accusingly and knowingly, Chilton doesn’t have time to respond.

“Whether he is or he isn’t doesn’t really matter right now. If he thinks he is or even if he’s confused on that issue, he will kill again!” Alana is the voice of reason, and demands to not be ignored. Chilton turns and addresses Alana with a condescending tone. “I hope he does not. I mean, for your sake. Cannot imagine how you would sleep with that on your shoulders.”

_Will feels ill, hears his heart beating loudly in his chest, the echo of Chilton’s words playing in his mind. I hope he does not. I mean, for your sake. Cannot imagine how you would sleep with that on your shoulders. Will pulls off his glasses and wipes his eyes with his hand. Something is wrong. He doesn’t feel right._

“How did you sleep when Gideon killed your nurse?” Anger bubbles up in Alana’s words at the biting remark. Will rushes to stop her from doing something stupid and grabs her arm, like nothing was wrong.

“What does Gideon want?” Will grunts out reluctantly.

Chilton sits back down at his desk crosses his fingers “The last thing Able Gideon said to me is that he intends to tell everyone that he is the Chesapeake Ripper”

***

During the FBI debrief about trying to catch Gideon Will can’t focus, can’t breathe. He’s sickly pale, his palms clammy and he feels like he’s drenched in sweat. He can hear his heart again, pounding in his ears and tries to close his eyes for relief. It doesn’t help.

He can hear the soft murmur of Jacks voice He opens his eyes but the room is different. He only sees Jack in the room surrounded by sharp antlers that fill the room around him. Will finds it claustrophobic. He feels like Jack is speaking directly to him…about him. “Institutionalized at the Baltimore State Hospital for the clinically insane.”

Wills breathing picks up in a panic as Jack walks towards him. Will knows it’s not real, he knows it deep in his gut but can’t shake the image. He closes his eyes again, feels the sweat roll down his brow. He wants it to go away, but Jacks voice still whispers to him, muffled but lingering.

“He’s armed. He is dangerous. He escaped this morning.” The words shift and morph “You are armed and you are extremely dangerous.” Disoriented Will opens his eyes and looks around blindly

“Institutionalized at the Baltimore State Hospital for the clinically insane.” Jack repeats.

Wills eyes close again as he wipes sweat from his face with shaky hands, gasps for air. He feels like he’s drowning.

 **“What kind of crazy are you?”** Jacks words are harsher, louder than the previous murmurs **“You kill. You will kill again!”**

***

Will once again sits opposite of Hannibal Lector in his office, its familiar in a way that keeps Will a bit sane. He’s memorized the feel of the plush chairs in Hannibal’s office and the cold steal just at the end of the arm rest. When his eyes land on Hannibal, relaxed in his chair, leg crossed over the other professionally he seeks comfort, in his presence. The reprieve is only temporary.

“What did you see?” Hannibal asks eyes trained on Wills face, never wavering.

“A thicket of antlers” Will takes a deep breath before continuing “All I heard was my heart, dim but…but fast, like, um…footsteps fleeing into silence.”

Hannibal gives him a look prompting Will to continue.

“I don’t know how to gauge who I am anymore.” He sucks a breath through his teeth “I don’t feel like myself. I feel like I have been gradually becoming different for a while.” Will looks down at his hands defeated, the sting of tears forming in his eyes. He gives a small shake of the head “I just feel like somebody else.” He finishes.

“What do you feel like?” Hannibal wonders quietly, softly. As if another tone would alarm Will, it probably would.

Will shakes as his breath hitches, he can’t control himself anymore “I feel crazy.” He says on a shaky breath.

“And that is what you fear most.” Hannibal concludes, but it wasn’t that simple.

Will shakes his head again, but firm this time “I fear not knowing who I am.” Hannibal watches as Wills eyes glint with unshed tears “That’s what Able Gideon’s afraid of, isn’t it?” He's deflecting, tries to focus on something else other than himself because he doesn’t know himself in this moment. His eyes dart around as if looking for a solution. He doesn’t find one. “He’s like a blind man. Somebody got inside his head and…moved all the furniture around.” He’s talking about Gideon, yes but he thinks that’s what’s happened to him. He thinks of Garret Jacob Hobbs.

“I imagine Able Gideon would want to find the Chesapeake Ripper to gauge who he is…and who he isn’t.” Hannibal offers trying to quell the man in front of him.

Will doesn’t respond just keeps looking at the far side of the room as his mind burns.

“Will” at Hannibal’s call will turns his head, brown eyes lock onto blue. Something in the deep depths of Hannibal’s eyes calms Will, at least for as long as he’s looking into them. Hannibal was his friend. He would help.

“You have me as your gauge.” Hannibal’s tone is confident yet soft. It’s encouraging and Will feels a little bit more like himself. He swallows and nods.

***

They find Dr. Paul Carruthers in his office with his tongue pulled though his neck in what’s known as a Colombian necktie. He had written and acritical about Gideon for the journal of Criminal Psychology describing Gideon as a pathological narcissist suffering from psychotic episodes. From the looks of it Gideon didn’t appreciate the piece.

“I think this is about more than just getting the Chesapeake Rippers attention” Jack remarks looking over the body. It’s not as bloody as he expected, it’s clean and neat which is different from the murders he’s used to.

“Gideon’s mind was dissected by psychiatrists and, as a surgeon, he is applying his own skill set.” Will remarks stepping in a bit further to look the body over himself. “Gave you something better to do with your tongue than wag it”

“No, that’s not how he died. Drained him till his heart stopped.” Zeller informs Will

“Got a little on his collar. Other than that, didn’t spill a drop.” Beverly adds with a shake of the head.

“That’s because it’s all in here” Jimmy Price speaks up gesturing to a cooler on the table filled with bags of blood. “Four and a half liters all packed in ice.” He notices a note and reads it out “Please deliver to the Red Cross”

“That’s considerate” Beverly sarcastically remarks with an eye roll

“He’s peacocking for the Ripper” Jack adds

“This is like flowers and chocolate before a first date” Will concludes as he notices Carruthers hand is resting on a mouse. Pressing the man’s finger down to click, it reveals that the computer off to the side is on. It lights up, showing an article from Tattlecrime.com. They see a picture of the late Carruthers front and center on display.

“How is this news already?” Jack asked confused as he looks over the image.

“Somebody from the Baltimore PD must’ve taken a picture with their phone and sold it to Tattlecrime.” Brian Zeller jumps to the conclusion with a sigh.

“Photo was taken before the blood was put on ice. Dr. Gideon was still here.” Jake counters as they look closer at the photo.

Will is already making the connection

“He has Freddie Lounds.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh Finally got this chapter done! I feel like its a bit jumpy but wanted to try and convey what is happening while also keeping the main focus on the relationships building. I hope it works out okay! I really want Courtney to be a real person and not a "Mary Sue" so shes not able to really be a part of the main story too much but she can still be involved somewhat right? Idk. Anyway I hope you enjoy this! Thanks for reading.  
> Ps: I hope you noticed that the Chapter names have to do with food, like the TV series episode names! If not all good but yeah! Lots of love


	6. Fondue

Chapter five: Fondue

Jack, Will, Alana and Brian stand around the table in the autopsy room. A man lays there and just like Dr. Paul Carruthers, this man’s tongue is pulled though his throat and presses there like a sick flesh tie. However, this murder was not as clean as Paul Carruthers murder, blood is smeared around the victims wound, the precisely cut with surgical precision.

Alana is the first to speak “Dr. Carson Nahn. He’s the psychiatric attending at Western General. He interviewed Dr. Gideon for the same psychopathy survey I participated in two years ago.” Alana informs everyone with an expression of guilt that appears on her face before she masks it.

She felt responsible.

Brian Zeller is the next to speak up “Total frenectomy, webbing under the tongue. Even the connective tissue all the way into the throat is cut free and pulled through for the, uh, desired effect.” He sighs and shakes his head.

Jack breaths in a deep sigh and looks towards Alana. “Still no word from Dr. Chilton?” he asks hopeful that she was able to reach him.

“He hasn’t answered his phone since yesterday, didn’t show up to work today.” Alana replies turning to Will. They share a look.

“Gideon wants to lure the Ripper. He’s going to offer up the man who disrespected both their identities” Will tells them with a nod putting the pieces of Gideon’s plan together in his head.

“Every detail of Dr. Carruthers’ murder as described meticulously in Freddie Lounds’ article has been faithfully reproduced except…” Jack lifts the sheet, laid on the body, to reveal a missing limb, an arm. “…for one.” Will looks a bit surprised as he looks at the empty space, he’s trying to find a solution in his head as the others continue talking.

“What’s the difference about Carson? Why amputate his arm?” Alana asks looking over at Will hoping that he would understand. But he’s too busy trying to analyze so misses her expectant look.

“Did Freddie write anything about this?” Jack wonders eyes flickering around the room for an answer.

Brian Zeller is the one to answer “Not that I know of, no”

Will Graham seems to make a connection as his eyes flicker aimlessly “Able Gideon didn’t kill this man. The Chesapeake Ripper did.” He sounds a bit relieved, like he finally understands what’s going on. Jack gives him a skeptical look, not understanding the jump and the connections but that doesn’t matter, Will knows he’s right.

“You said the Chesapeake Ripper would want to kill Gideon for taking credit for his work.” Alana argues.

Will closes his eyes, having to remember they didn’t think like him or like the Ripper. It was hard to explain his logic to others. “But um…Gideon isn’t alone anymore, and the Ripper is not going to risk exposure, so, no, he’s…he’s um…” Will falters trying the find the best way to tell them but he finds it difficult, he settles on

“He’s telling us where to catch him” Jack gives Will a deeper expression of confusion as Will looks down at the missing limb again. A small smirking smile pulls at Wills lips that he has to fight back. Will raises his head and looks directly at the lead FBI agent “Actually he’s telling you.”

“Me?” Jack mutters in surprise. He feels lost and is, not for the first time, happy that Will was here to make the needed connections that would take normal people weeks to understand.

“Where’s the last place you saw a severed arm, Jack?” 

***

Will and Jack are driving down a snowy back road at night, on their way to the abandoned observatory. Will sits in the passenger seat, pale as a sheet as he drowsily looks out the window watching the snow fall. His skin is glossed with a slight sheen of sweat and his hair is matted wet to his brow. Most of the ride had been silent but as they grew closer Jack has to speak up “I want you to wait outside.”

Will blinks slowly as if registering the statement and breaths out his nose “That’s probably for the best.” Will agrees

“You look like Hell, Will” Jack is quick to respond a twinge of worry tinting his words.

“I feel like Hell” Will responds but immediately takes it back “Actually no, I feel…uh, fluid like I’m spilling.” he corrects. Jack gives him a long hard concerned look.

“Must have come down with something. I hope it’s not contagious.” Will sighs wiping his eyes.

“Look this work that we do it will compromise you immune system if you allow it. You’ve got to keep things in perspective. You’ve got to keep yourself in perspective.” Jack scolds

“Well, _myself_ is a little hazy at the moment.” Will retorts lazily, as if his mind were in a fog

“You’ve got to start taking better care of yourself.” Jack snaps in a whisper

Will is smirking “Build my resistance?” is Wills sarcastic remark. Even in this state of mind he can’t help being a bit spiteful.

“You just can’t take it all in.” Jack starts rocking as if he’s antsy and worried “You’ve got to let go as much of it as you can. You just got to let go.” Jacks words are stern but his tone is soft.

“It’s hard, to shake off something that’s already under your skin.” Will retorts as he once again wipes his eyes, but it does nothing.

***

Even though Will agreed that he should stay in the car as they raid the observatory he steps out into the snow. The cool air feels good on his sweaty skin and he takes a moment to relish in it. He feels his head clear slightly as he watches as Jack lead his squad up the narrow path of cleared snow towards the building. Will starts to follow them, making his way up the path trailing behind everyone. He is determined to help catch Gideon, but even though he feels a bit better things change when hears a familiar snort at the edge of the forest.

Will stops in his tracks instantly and slowly turns his head his eyes adjusting to the darkness. It takes him a minute but he sees a familiar dark stag it’s massive. It stands just clear of the underbrush blending in with the trees, it’s hard to see him even now but Will knows it’s there. He can feel it call to him and when its eyes lock onto his he chokes on a breath. The pull to follow is strong as it turns to walk into the underbrush, twigs snapping under its hooves. Will’s legs move of their own accord as the cold snow seeps through his pant legs, but he doesn’t care, he needs to follow. Will pushes though the trees and is tripped up by the thick snow and hidden roots around his legs. In the distance he can see the stag walking slowly as if it’s waiting for him, mocking him.

Will grits his teeth and pushes further into the woods. Even at its slow pace Will loses sight of it fast within the thicket of decaying tree branches. It camouflages well within the dark background of its habitat like a predator stalking. But the tracks is leaves lead Will out into a road where a car sits waiting. Will knows in is gut this is where he’s meant to be and moves to check the doors. It’s unlocked. Once Will is inside he waits, gun held tightly and only has to wait a couple of minutes until he hears the driver’s side door open. He carefully points the gun up at the man who enters.

He sees Garret Jacob Hobbs.

“I was expecting the Chesapeake Ripper” He turns to face Will leaning towards the back “Or are you he?”

Wills breaths are ragged and short as he looks upon the decaying glassy blue eyes of Garret Jacob Hobbs. Will can’t stand the sight.

“Turn around. Don’t look at me.” Will exclamation is breathless and weak but the gun makes up for it.

Turning away and back to the wheel he speaks again “You are looking a little peaky, Mr. Graham, if you don’t mind me saying, I may be crazy but you look ill.” Wills is shaking as he takes in more air, his eyes are heavy and he does in fact feel ill, but that doesn’t stop him.

“Drive.” He commands

“Who’s your doctor?”

***

Courtney sits at home lounging on her love seat with blue snuggled up to her as she reads a book. She feels a warm comfort settle over her as her eyes flicker over the pages seeking the knowledge it holds. She saw a particularly interesting cookbook in the town’s books shop she couldn’t help but grab it. She’s finding that cooking really helps her with stress and it also keeps her hands busy. Smiling fondly as she flips to the desert section of the book and is reminded of her mother. Her mother loved to bake cookies, cakes and other types of deserts for parties and holidays. Her mother used to be a cake decorator before marrying her father so Courtney always has beautiful cakes for her birthdays, but her favorite were her cookies.

Courtney remembers the sweet smell of chocolate and baking dough wafting through the air as she stands hiding with her sisters. Waiting for their mom to turn away from the sheet of cooling cookies on the counter. Sneaking in Courtney distracts her mom with mundane questions while the other three scoop up the cooled treats and run. The memory causes her to chuckle and she hopes to make new sweet memories with Will, Abigail and Hannibal.

Sighing she closes her book with a soft snap and places it on the coffee table in front of her. As the Courtney settles back on the love seat she realizes that it’s very quiet it makes her nerves spike slightly. She hates the quiet in this large antique house and though she’s finding that being alone is not as terrifying as it used to be after her attack, she jumps when she hears a particularly loud creek in the floor or, when the wind howls just a bit too loud. But with the new found hobby thanks to Hannibal she feels like she’s getting better. When her phone rings and she jumps half way off the couch she realizes she may not be as far along as she thought. Blue whines and grumbles as Courtney moves to grab her phone from the pocket of her sweater.

It’s an unknown number.

She hoped it wasn’t an automated voice message trying to sell her a shady product.

“Hello?” Courtney answers a bit confused.

“Hello, Ms. Roberts this is Jack Crawford.” Jack greets casually, but from his tone it’s seems a bit forced.

Courtney swallows hard and clears her throat “Um, how did you get my number?” She questions and as Jack falls silent. She waits a few seconds before she’s shaking her head with an expression if realization as she purses her lips.

“Ah, FBI perks…” she trails off and is clearing her throat again with a painful expression “I-is this about me going in to talk about Nicolas Boyle?” She asks as she nervously shifts her body weight from one leg to another.

“No, no. Actually while I have you I should apologize. I was out of line.” Jack sounds remorseful and it makes Courtney smile just a smidge.

“O-okay. Apology accepted.” She awkwardly reply’s and waits for him to continue.

“I was wondering if Will Graham was with you.” Jack sounds a bit desperate and confused, it makes Courtney raise an eyebrow. The question confuses her so she moves to look out the window, to check if Will stopped by but only her car sits in the drive.

“N-no?” She answers scratching the back of her head “Why?”

“Shit” Jack curses under his breath and sighs again

“Is there something wrong?” Her words are mixed with worry at jacks proclamation and bites her lip anxiously

“No, no. He must have taken another car back.” Jack tries to convince her, but doesn’t sound like he believes it himself.

“Wait what’s going on?” Courtney demands as she moves to the front door to shove on a pair of shoes, preparing to leave if need be.

“Unfortunately that’s classified, thank you for your time Ms. Roberts. Have a goodnight.” Jack tells her before ending the call abruptly.

Courtney’s brow furrows in confusion and slight worry as she stands in her sitting room, phone still pressed to her ear, one shoe on and the other hanging limply in her hand. She bites the inside of cheek and pauses wondering what to do. After a long minute she decides to call Will, just in case. She knows that Jack must have tied to call but she had to try. Going through her short list of contacts she hits his name to dial but it seems to ring forever with no response.

“Come on.” Courtney sighs as it rings for the fifth or sixth time and feels her heart beat rapidly, he normally picks up by now. The thought of Will being in trouble makes her anxious as the phone continues to ring. She waits for another two rings and is about to hang up and call again when she hears a voice over the line, but it’s not Will.

“Hello, Ms. Roberts.” Hannibal’s smooth light voice is unmistakable, it’s a bit jarring as she didn’t expect it but it fills her with tremendous relief.

“Hannibal! Oh, I mean… Dr. Lecter is Will with you? I got a strange call from Jack Crawford.” Courtney sighs and moves to sit on her love seat again but she’s still shaking with nervous energy. She can feel her temples pound and a head ache starting at the base of her skull. It was most likely stress related she thinks.

“He is” Hannibal admits and Courtney can imagine the small head nod typical of the man. It makes her smile.

“Oh good I was worried, but if he’s with you he’s fine right?” She trails off glad that he’s with a friend.

“C-Courtney” she hears a breathless voice in the background, its sounds shaky and weak but it’s definitely Will. She feels her throat constrict with worry.

“He may have had a seizure” Hannibal admits with a sigh and seems to be helping Will for a moment. She gasps at the news

“I-is he okay, can I talk to him?” She wonders a hand covering her mouth in surprise

“He is disoriented at the moment.” Hannibal says politely, but immediately she knows what he means. She is distracting him from helping Will and she instantly feels guilt twist in her gut, sharp and abrupt.

“R-right right, I’m so sorry to interrupt, I know that you’ll be able to help him.” Courtney frantically states and even though Hannibal can’t see it she nods her head thankfully.

“Yes.” Hannibal replies but the sound is distant almost as if he has placed the phone down.

“Take care Dr. Lecter.” Courtney quickly replies, hoping he heard her.

“I will.” He answers as line goes silent as she hangs up.

Taking a few minutes she tries to processes the information. Jack is looking for Will for some reason. Will might have had a seizure but Hannibal was taking care of him. She takes a shaky breath and places her hands on her face to wipe her tired eyes. Things seemed to be getting crazier and crazier with Will, Hannibal and the FBI. Courtney is sure that the “confidential” business that Jack was talking about has to do with Able Gideon’s escape. Though she normally doesn’t like Tattlecrime, as it reads like tasteless gossip, after learning about Will’s job she has tried to keep tabs on articles. Specifically the ones pertaining to Will, which she finds are mostly derogatory and distastefully accusatory, and ones concerning Chesapeake Ripper. It’s true that Will tried to keep his work separate from her because it made him uncomfortable. She knew that, but seeing him mentally breaking down had her extremely worried. Will didn’t tell her anything but that didn’t mean Hannibal needed to keep quiet, of course not with breaching the doctor patient confidentiality. Hannibal just let her know that the Ripper was one of the main causes of concern for Will as well as the Shrike, especially when it came to Abigail.

Pinching the bridge of her nose and closing her eyes she tries to reign in her worried thoughts. Deciding that she needed to distract herself she grabs her cookbook and decides to make something, she hopes it stops her overactive imagination.

***

When Hannibal hangs up he can’t help but marvel at Courtney’s dedication to Will, it intrigues him, he wants to twist it and meld her into something truly beautiful. But he only lets his thoughts linger for a second before he stands directly in front of the shaking man. Will did need him after all. Will stands in Hannibal’s dining room, the major shaking seeming to settling down, only small tremors shaking his shoulders. His eyes flicker behind his eyelids as he slowly sways aimlessly on his feet. He looks sickly pale, a yellowish tone flushing his skin and he looks more gaunt then normal.

Hannibal watches for a few seconds to see if he will come out of this on his own but when he doesn’t respond he’s prompted to call out “Will, can you hear me?”

Will doesn’t respond verbally but his head moves to signify that he can at least hear at the moment.

“Repeat after me.” Hannibal starts “My name is Will Graham.”

“My name is Will Graham.” Wills voice is deep and hoarse as if his throat is sore. It’s drastically different from the smooth dark silk that is Hannibal’s. Hannibal looks over Will trying to access the possibility of more than a seizure.

“Raise both of your arms” Hannibal lightly commands Will does as told, but not enough. “More” Will complies slowly “More” Once Wills hands are above his head Hannibal is satisfied. “Good” Hannibal helps Will lower his arms to his sides and sighs, watching them drop to make there is no nerve damage.

“Although you may not feel like it, I need you to smile” Hannibal’s dark eyes dart to Wills face as he finally opens his eyes. Dark brown meet clear blue. Will looks like he really doesn’t want to smile but shakily he tries. The smile itself looks out of place and wider than it should be, it’s forced but Hannibal smiles back all the same.

“Good. It wasn’t a stroke.” Hannibal praises and grabs Will’s shoulder firmly as he directs him to sit on one of his chairs in the dining room.

“You may have had a seizure.” Hannibal continues and moves to sit in the chair closest to Will. “Tell me the last thing you remember.”

“I-“ Will starts shaking again but more from disorientation as his head darts around the room trying to get his barring’s and looks directly to the left at the head of the table. He pants heavily as if out of breath before turning back to Hannibal

“I was with Garret Jacob Hobbs.” He huffs and Hannibal moves Wills sweat covered curls to press his palm to Wills forehead. Hannibal tuts before saying

“You have a fever. You were hallucinating. You thought he was alive, here in the room with you” Hannibal tries to explain

“I saw him.” Will states firmly, not liking the implication of Hannibal’s words

“He’s a delusion disguising reality. Don’t let that let you slip away” Hannibal tries to comfort before moving to stand and move around the table “You killed Garret Jacob Hobbs once. You can find a way to kill him again.” Hannibal encourages

On the other side of the table a coat is slug over one of the chairs and Hannibal reaches to put it on. Will watches confused and asks “Where are you going?”

“Able Gideon is still at large. He mutilated Dr. Chilton. They found him clinging to life.” Hannibal pauses to search his pocket for his keys. “I’m worried about Alana.”

As soon as Alana’s name is spoken Will starts to stand “Alana” He whispers but Hannibal rushes towards Will placing his keys on the table next to the gun that Will had brought with him.

“No no no no no no, Will. You are in no state to go anywhere but the hospital.” Hannibal forces Will to sit back down. “I’ll call Jack and tell him where you are.” Hannibal reaffirms and squeezes Wills arms before he leaves the room to presumably call Jack.

Will watches Hannibal leave, tracing his movements with is eyes, and sighs in defeat. But as his eyes fall to glance at the table he sees Hannibal’s keys and his gun laying in reach. Taking a second to glance in the direction Hannibal went Will moves to grab them.

Knows what he needs to do.

***

Able Gideon stands in the snow, watching Alana Bloom from her window as she asks her guard to leave the room. Her dark hair frames her face in long waves that look softer then silk. Her ocean blue eyes shift over her work diligently. She’s oblivious to him being there as she looks over her files with a grace that Able finds beautiful. That is where Will finds him as he walks on wobbly legs and belated breaths. His pants are wet frim the snow as it melts with every step but he doesn’t think about his stinking numbness of his toes. He needs to save Alana. Will points his gun at Gideon planning to shoot him from far off, but his vision is blurry and he doesn’t want to risk Alana’s safety. He decides to let his hand fall and walk the rest of the way towards the man.

As Will steps softly up towards Gideon they watch Alana for a moment before Gideon starts talking “I don’t know if I will ever be myself again. I don’t know if I’ve got any self left over.” Gideon takes a hesitant breath. “I spent so long thinking I was him, it’s gotten really hard to remember who I was when I wasn’t him.” Gideon gloomily whispers and his eyes never leave their focus on the Alana in the window.

Will turns to look at Able and watches him with steely blue eyes “Who are you now?”

Gideon turns to Will, it’s the first time in hours he’s moved “Now I’m you.” Gideon answers evenly. But Will doesn’t see Able Gideon at his side, he sees the same glassy dead stair of Garret Jacob Hobbs.

Gideon spares him a lingering glance before he’s looking back at his prized lamb.

“Were both here, looking at her, just those kinda people who shouldn’t be in a relationship. You and I are already committed.” Gideon affirms with a strong bellow. “It’s hard to be with another person when you…Can’t get out of your own head.” Gideon speaks truthfully, with hidden sorrow tinting his words. He watches Alana as if he were a dehydrated man and she was a water dune in the middle of the Sahara.

An image of Courtney flashes behind Will’s eyes and he has to bite the inside of his lip hard to focus. He doesn’t want a life stuck alone and hopes desperately to become something else.

“I want to get out.” Will admits shaking again but tries to control it.

“Yeah, well, we all want things we can’t have…but if I killer her like he would kill her, then maybe I could understand him better.” Gideon reasons with conviction before turning to face Will once again. “I wonder if then you would finally understand what you have become.”

Will shakes his head, he can’t let him kill Alana. He won’t. She was his friend and had helped him so much, she would not die. He wouldn’t allow it. Will pulls his arm up, gun still shaking in his hand and tries to steady himself before he’s squeezing the trigger. The gun shot explodes loud in his ears and makes them ring. His vison blurs as he feels the rush of his fever burning him alive. He feels his body falling, he is fluid again except now he’s not spilling because his cup is already empty. As he hits the snow his eyes close and he feels the darkness wrap around his consciousness like gripping vines.

oOo

_A twelve year old Courtney stands off to the side of a lake watching as her Pop fishes lazily. He’s wearing full fishing gear including his old green water pants, a canvas vest decorated with different bobbles and hooks, a plain long sleeve top, and faded ball cap. He puffs a cigarette as he waits for a bite a content smile on his face. They already have a bucket full of fish to take back home, they swim frantically in the small amount of water. Courtney watches them unsettled by something but she’s also mesmerized by the shining scales as they swim around each other. When her pop hollers for her to come over to him, she grabs a net and runs into the water. Her pop pulls back and a massive fish rushes to the surface_

_“Quick net it!” Her pop encourages as she runs the net into the water under the fishes belly and pulls upwards and twists so the fish gets tangled up. Her Pop laughs and moves to take a long drag of the cigarette as Courtney halls the fish over to the bucket, her pop follows._

_“Over here sweat pea.” Her pop waves her over to his truck and she does as told and moves towards him. He’s smiling sweetly as he opens the bed of his beat up rust truck, grabs the fish and slaps it down. Grabbing his hunting knife form its holster he holds it up to her, showing it off. Courtney watches as he flicks it open and it glimmers in the sun._

_“You’re gonna have to learn how to gut a fish darlin’ come closer.” Her pop beckons her pulling her gently to get in front of him. But as she moves to take her pop's place she’s not at the lake, she’s in Hannibal’s kitchen._

_Hannibal leans over her shoulder a smile forming on his lips as he catches her eyes. His are dark and deep like an endless sea of black ink. She feels lost as she watches them shift, everchanging and morphing like a chameleon. She’s not twelve anymore as he hands her the knife, it fits perfectly into her hand, like she was meant to wield it._

_“Show me that you know how.” Hannibal hisses in her ear like a snake whispering sweet words to Eve as she takes a bite of the forbidden fruit. Looking down, she sees the man she killed on the kitchen counter Ronald Parks and starts hyperventilating. His eyes are closed._

_“Gut the fish” she hears a voice say_

_“Gut the fish” her pop laughs_

_“Gut the fish” Hannibal whispers_

_“Gut the fish” Will demands_

_“_ _Gut the fish” Abigail sobs_

_They all keep chanting, keep calling, keep demanding. Its all she can think and all she can hear as it echo's around her she starts to shake violently. Ronald parks eyes open to look at her they are glassy and frosted over with the sheen of death. His dark brown hair is messily slicked back and clumped together with dried blood it flakes off in horrendous chunks. His lips are blue and cracked and as he smirks up at her she sees blood seep to the surface._

_His grimy hands moving to reach for her as he taunts her "_ _Pretty little thing” he whispers as he cups her face and pulls her closer_

_"Your mine” He hisses hands moving to grip her throat and feels herself being suffocating again tears prickle in her eyes as she whimpers. She feels helpless as he forces the life out of her._

_**“Gut the fish.”** Something roars at her and Courtney’s arm moves to stab Ronald in the gut. His hands fall from her neck to press to the gushing wound. She pulls it out and stabs again, he groans in pain. Again, again again. He sobs now as he tries to hold himself together with his hands. Guts start to spill out form his stomach _

_“p-please” he begs and she watches as his blood pools around him, falling off the counter like hot rain in the summer._

_“please.” He whispers…_

_She doesn't listen and looks down at her hands_

_red_

_Red_

**_RED._ **

Jumping awake with a shriek Courtney looks around the room hyper aware of her surroundings trying to remember where she was. Its 3am and she’s in bed, her soft comforter pulled up to her chest. She tries to catch her breath and feels tears fall down her face in hot rivulets as she shakes. Her nightmares are not every night but they still make her uneasy. Blue lays against her side as he snores contently even as she moves about the bed restlessly. Courtney reaches to pet him for comfort as the quiet settles over her. She clams down enough to try and sleep when suddenly her phone blares to life, its ringing is shrill against her ears. She jumps as it lights up on her bedside table and she calmers to grab it, hoping that it might be Will. Instead it’s another unknown number which makes her worried. She presses accept as fast as she can and presses it to her ear

“Hello?” Courtney greets with a tint of apprehension

“Hello I’m Clare from Baltimore General hospital and I was looking for Courtney Roberts.” The woman on the phone politely tells her in a calm tone, it seems to help slightly but Courtney can already feel herself starting to panic

“That’s me.” Courtney answers rushing to get up as fast as she can, alerting Blue who barks loudly.

“Shhh shhh” Courtney hushes him with a few pets as her heart rate doubles with the sound.

“Oh good, I’m calling in regards to Will Graham you are listed as an Emergency contact” Clare continues even as Courtney becomes distracted. It takes her a minute to register the words. Will made her and emergency contact? She shakes her head

“Oh?” Courtney questions her face twisting into confusion before she shakes it off “H-how is he, is he okay?” Courtney wonders as she starts to get up frantically, pulling back the covers and wiping her brow of sweat.

“He collapsed and he is unfortunately still passed out. He also has an extreme fever but were running some tests to make sure everything is alright.”

“Can I see him?!” Courtney asks anxiously as she runs around the room grabbing a random set of clothes without even looking.

“Visiting hours are closed until 8am but since you are his emergency contact I can allow you to see him.” She assures Courtney and a burst of relief fills her as she lets go a breath she didn’t realize she was holding.

“Okay, I’ll be there within the hour thank you” She tells Clare, lets her say goodbye and hangs up. Courtney sits dumbfounded at the new information, she was Will’s emergency contact but he never told her. She wonders why vaguely before moving to throw on the outfit she picked out and rushes down stairs to feed Blue before she leaves.

***

When Courtney makes it to the hospital, she rushes to the front desk and asks for Will’s room number. It doesn’t take much time to get there but she hesitates at the door scared that he’s hurt more than the nurses claimed, she just hopes that he’s okay. Taking a deep breath she enters the room and her eyes are instantly drawn to the bed where Will lays unconscious. He has an oxygen nose tube wrapped around his face and nose and his skin looks a bit flushed and tacky with sweat. He still has dark circles under his eyes and a slight yellowish tint to his skin, but overall he looks healthier than the last time she saw him.

His wild dark curls flutter about his head like a halo as he sleeps soundly. He looks a bit different sleeping, less haunted by the nightmarish things he looks at for a living. A small smile tugs at her lips as she watches him, but she also notices that Alana Bloom sits at his bedside a worried expression on her face as she holds Wills hand. Courtney feels painful twinge in her gut at the sight but she pushes it aside as she walks further into the room. This was not the time for jealousy or self-doubt, she needed to be here for Will. 

At Courtney's approach Alana turns her head and gives her a tight lipped smile. “Ms. Roberts, it’s nice to see you again.”

Courtney nods her head in acknowledgement and a small smile of her own

“You too Dr. Bloom. How is he?” Courtney asks trying to ignore the Alana’s expression of displeasure.

“He’s alright” Alana sighs and watches as Courtney takes a seat on the other side of Will and watches as he breathes, extremely grateful that he seemed to be doing okay.

“Do you know what happened? I assume it has something to do with Dr. Able Gideon.” Courtney continues, eyes glancing to the dark haired beauty. Alana gives her an odd look

“His escape was all over the news and…Tattlecrime…” Courtney explains, a small grimace at the end. Alana nods her head and places Wills hand, which she’s holding, on the bed

“Gideon was looking for his previous psychiatrists and I had treated him previously.” Alana informs her before leaning back into her chair and watches as Courtney brushes some stray hair off of Wills forehead.

“He somehow found out where I was but Will was able to find him and shot him before fainting.” Alana crosses her arms, as if she’s uncomfortable watching the display of affection Courtney gives Will.

Courtney’s brow furrows at the story, remembering her brief conversation with Hannibal but doesn’t mention it to Alana.

Instead she grabs Wills hand and squeezes it lightly watching as Will’s eyes flicker faintly under his eyelids. “He’s always trying to protect everyone else but never himself” Courtney sighs and lifts his hand gently to place a gentle kiss on his knuckles.

Alana clears her throat and shifts in her seat before she asks “Are you two…” Alana tries to say but lets her sentence drop, she doesn’t have to finish it because Courtney already knows.

“No were not.” Courtney sighs brushing her other hand though her hair “He’s not ready for a relationship. I know that.” Courtney tells Alana but her eyes don’t stray from Will as she watches his light breathing.

“He’s unstable.” Alana warns with a shake of her head

“I know.” Courtney nods he head and glances over her shoulder with a small shaky smile.

“He’s not going to quit, it will get worse.” Alana persists standing form her seat and Courtney follows her with her eyes.

“I know.” Courtney says again

“If you know that why are you still here?” Alana wonders brow furrowed in confusion.

“I’m his friend.” Courtney shrugs looks back at Wills sleeping face as he snores slightly

“And I promised him I wouldn’t leave.” She chuckles as she remembers her vow “He needs someone to lean on.”

Alana sighs “He needs more friends like you.”

“Mm, you’re a good friend to him, and Hannibal too.” Courtney adds smiling up at the other woman, and sees the hint of a genuine smile curve Alana’s lips.

***

Hours later, Wills eyes flutter open blurry from sleep and he feels the uncomfortable itch of an oxygen tube pressed to his nostrils. Groaning he shifts his legs and closes his eyes again he really needed to turn on his side. Trying to move his arm, he tugs but he feels resistance and finds it’s trapped for some reason. He hopes to god he isn't attached to an IV, he really hated the feel of the needle being removed from his arm. A shutter runs up his spine at the thought.

Forcing his eyes open and blinking away the haziness he finds himself in a hospital room and flashes of what happen shimmer to the surface. He groans again as he looks up at the ceiling his mind running over the events with a hazy vague recollection. Sometimes he remembers talking to Garret Jacob Hobbs, and others Able Gideon he can't make much sense of it at the moment so gives up. Instead he focuses on moving. 

Looking to his left to find the source of his annoyance to revel a messy head of ebony curls splayed out on his bed. His hand is tightly clasped by Courtney's and he can’t help the smile it pulls to his lips. He reaches to tentatively brush the curls out of her face and behind her ear with a swift flick of the wrist. She looks peaceful as she sleeps, her eyes fluttering lightly as her lashes kiss her cheeks, pink lips slightly parted as she breathes and cheeks rosy from sleep. She looks so kissable even now and he chuckles to himself at how cute she is.

He really doesn’t want to wake her but he really needs to move his back was killing him. So, he tries to pull his hand away again taking his time to pry her fingers off and is able to free himself. Turning on his side he makes sure to watch the tubing he's connected to so he doesn't rip it out of his nose. Once he’s settled in a more comfortable position he lets his hands brush over her hair again.

He can’t believe how soft it is under his fingers as he smooths it down and pets her similar to petting one of his dogs and it calms him. He watches her sleep with a soft expression as she twitches and sighs in her sleep. The sun is rising, casting a warm glow to the room, its peaceful as his eyes flicker around her face.

He wishes he could always wake up to her at his side…but hopefully not always at a hospitals bedside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of update, school has been killing me but I finally had some time to write YAY! Also sorry for a shorter chapter folks I hope you still like how it turned out <3 Comments are always welcome!

**Author's Note:**

> Welp. I finally decided to give in and made this story, Ive been craving more Hannibal since It ended and just re-watched it and decided to take the plunge. I'm trying to do justice to the characters so please let me know If you think anyone is OOC and I'll try my best to fix it. I also want to generally stick to cannon until It is no longer possible and the real interactions between my shameless self insert and Will really start on Episode 5 of the show. Thanks for checking this out and comments are always welcome and...yes. Its going to be F/M/M relationship because how can a girl choose just one? Im not sure If ill make it sexual between everyone but we shall see. Im also gonna say I hate not being able to format to my liking so sorry about that!


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